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“A Siamese fighting fish,” Leo suggested.
“Sure, why not?” Tristan shifted Leo’s wine slightly out of reach.
“I wonder what he’d say about Mum and Dad sending a valuer.” Leo sighed.
“He’d tell them to go fuck themselves, probably.”
“I wish I could tell them to go fuck themselves, but I don’t think I’m that brave. They even talked me into going to one of Dad’s political dinner thingies. Said it would look good on his diversity card to be seen out with his gay son.”
“Are they really that awful?”
“Yes!” Leo sighed again. “No? I don’t know.”
“Do you need them for money?”
“No. I mean, look, I own a house now and everything.”
“Okay.”
“What?” Leo squinted at him.
Tristan shrugged and smiled.
“You’re…” Leo gestured at him. “You’re looking at me like you’re waiting for me to figure something out.” The drunk penny dropped. “Oh! You’re waiting for me to realise that I could tell them to go fuck themselves, and what’s the worst that could happen, because I am finandually—financially independent!” He gasped. “I could tell them!”
Tristan laughed. “There it is. But only if you wanted. Because you are brave enough.”
“Am I?”
“Yup.” Tristan said it like there was no room for argument.
“Because I don’t want to do the things they want me to do,” Leo said. “I don’t want to be just like them. I don’t want to bring home a boring boy. I want to bring you home.” A thought struck him then. “I should take you to their fancy dinner! As my boyfriend!”
Tristan raised an eyebrow, and a wicked smile formed. “No,” he corrected. “As a Bad Boyfriend.”
Leo gasped. “I couldn’t!” He blinked. “Could I?”
Tristan smirked. “I mean, they’d never ask you to go to any more boring dinners.”
“God, you’re right.” Excitement stirred in his gut. His parents would never forgive him. Except Leo’s life was already full of things they’d never forgiven—his brief emo phase when he’d dyed his hair black, that time he’d tried karaoke at his cousin’s wedding, the time he’d had a party when they were out of town and the police had been called about the noise—and he was used to them bringing them up, even years later. What was one more thing? And maybe, this would be a big enough thing that he’d actually shock them into realising that he was his own man. If not, well, fuck it—at least he’d have earned their disapproval this time. A part of him wondered if this was like the fettuccine kisses—an excellent idea when he was drunk but probably not in the cold light of day tomorrow—but another part of him didn’t care. “Jimmy would approve.”
“Jimmy would a thousand percent approve.”
“That’s not a number.”
“Leo, babe, I know.”
And in that instant, as tipsy as he was, Leo knew that he wouldn’t change his mind about horrifying his parents with Tristan acting as the best—worst?—Bad Boyfriend who ever existed. Because as Leo laughed, throwing his head back, his body shaking with joy, he knew that there was nothing more important in life than moments like these.
“I don’t see why you’re upset,” Leo’s mother said impatiently at their regularly scheduled Friday dinner. “We were just trying to help. Obviously, you’re not capable of arranging an assessment yourself or you would have done it. And from what he saw before that rude tenant kicked him out, Gary said even in its current state you’re sitting on a small fortune.”
“That’s just it, Mum. I’ve had it valued, to secure the loan for the repairs. You do know I’m an actual adult, right?” It wasn’t how he normally spoke to his mother, and the flame of defiance that seemed to have taken up residence in his gut flared brightly with the unaccustomed thrill of it.
“No need for that tone,” his father said. “Your mother’s looking out for you, that’s all.” He peered over the top of his glasses at Leo, a move that normally would have had Leo squirming and apologising, except now all he could think of was Tristan saying “You are brave enough.”
He decided now was as good a time as any to change the subject. “By the way, I’m free for Lillian whatsername’s dinner.”
“Kingsbury,” his mother said, her mouth set in disapproval. “Please take the time to at least learn her name. We want to make a good impression. That’s why we’re bringing you. It will cement us as allies.” She frowned. “Is that the word? Allies?”
