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Wei put her hands on her hips. “I want in. For all the straight boys and lesbians. I want to be a Bad Girlfriend.”
“No, he asked me first!” Orlando bitched.
“There’s no reason you can’t both do it,” Tristan said. “This could be a franchise opportunity.”
“You can’t franchise a cash-in-hand scam.”
“It’s not a scam! And it’s…an example of grassroots economy. Supply and demand, meeting the market and all that. It’s pretty much a community service.”
Wei rolled her eyes. “Bullshit. But it’s exactly my kind of bullshit, so I’m in.”
Orlando nodded. “Me, too.”
The bells on the shop’s front door tinkled, and Newtown’s most fabulous drag queen stepped inside.
“Miss O’Jenny!” Tristan exclaimed, rushing over to kiss her on the cheek. “Did I tell you I’m an honest man these days?”
“Oh, darling, I’m so sorry,” Miss O’Jenny exclaimed. “What did the magistrate give you?”
“Me and Leo Fisher are together.”
“Little Leo Fisher!” Miss O’Jenny clasped her hands to her latex bosom. “Aw! Jimmy always did say that boy needed some glitter in his life.”
“Speaking of, you’re looking very sparkly for this time of day.”
She fluttered her exaggerated lashes at him. “Me and the girls are going on a harbour cruise, can you believe it?” She did a twirl, so he could see her blue and white dress, which was festooned with tiny gold anchors. “Hence the nautical theme.” She waved at Wei and Orlando. “Hello, Wei! Hello, Orlando.”
Her voice dropped to a lower octave on Orlando’s name, and she practically purred.
Orlando flushed. “Hello, Miss O’Jenny.”
“Uh-oh,” Tristan said in an undertone. “You didn’t! Not with Orlando?”
“Oh, that boy’s as thick as two bricks, but…” She fanned herself. “He’s also as thick as two—well, have you seen his dick?”
“Well, yeah. So has most of Newtown.”
“Oh, of course you have, you naughty thing! Stupendous, isn’t it?” She fluttered her eyelashes in Orlando’s direction. “Orlando, darling, fetch me a cool drink, would you?”
Orlando was off like a shot.
“You slut,” Tristan said affectionately.
“Bitch, he’s half my age with a dick that would stretch the limits of the Sydney Harbour Tunnel. I’m not made of stone.” She pinched his cheek. “Anyway, I need tiny cocks to decorate the cocktails with on my cruise. And penis straws, of course. We intend to make the sailors blush.”
Tristan went to the counter to grab what she needed.
“Wei, darling, how’s all that bookkeeping going?”
“It’s great!” Wei said enthusiastically. “We actually know what we’re going to get paid now!”
“Wonderful! What’s that face for, Tristan?”
“Ugh, accountancy. It’s so boring.” He leaned against the counter. “Also, I thought Leo was an accountant, but then he said he wasn’t, and now I might have left it too long to ask what he actually does for a living.”
“Why did you think he was an accountant?”
“Because he looks boring.”
