AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Ivan,” she began softly, her voice tinged with vulnerability, “I’ve been thinking a lot about… us. About what we’re exploring together. And I can’t help but feel conflicted sometimes. I love what we have, but there are moments when I feel this nagging guilt like I’m doing something wrong. I know it’s because of how I was raised, the things society drilled into me about what’s ‘acceptable.’ And we work together. The whole ‘don’t date your coworker’ thing, which I know is stupid. But the feeling is hard to shake.”
Ivan’s eyes softened as he listened, sensing the weight of her words. He set his glass down and reached out, taking her glass and setting it on the table with his own. He gently took her hands in his, raising them to his lips to plant kisses across her knuckle. “I understand, dushenka. I feel it, too, more often than I’d like to admit. There’s this voice in the back of my mind that questions everything—whether what we’re doing is right, whether we’re crossing lines that shouldn’t be crossed. It’s not easy to let go of years of conditioning.“ He retained possession of her hands. “And I don’t want to lose you. You mean the world to me. You have since the day I met you and regret nothing about these last two weeks together.”
Anna looked up at him, her eyes filled with a mixture of relief and sadness. “But I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to let fear dictate our relationship. I want to embrace what we have fully, without holding back. But how do we do that when these doubts keep creeping in?”
Ivan sighed, his thumb brushing over her knuckles in a soothing gesture. “It’s a journey, dushenka. One we have to take together. I think the first step is acknowledging that these feelings are normal and that it’s okay to question and have doubts. We’ve been taught to see our desires as something to be hidden, something to be ashamed of. But they’re a part of who we are. And if we want to move forward, we need to accept that, to challenge and replace those old beliefs with our own truths.”
Anna nodded, her grip on his hand tightening as she drew strength from his words. She entwined her fingers with his. “You’re right. I’ve been so afraid of what others might think, of what it says about me if I embrace these desires. But when I’m with you, when we’re exploring together, I feel more alive, more in tune with myself than ever before. I don’t want to lose that because of outdated ideas about what’s ‘normal.’”
Ivan smiled, a warm, encouraging expression that made her heart flutter. “Neither do I. And that’s why we need to communicate, to be open with each other about what we’re feeling, what we need. It’s not just about what we do together physically—it’s about the emotional and psychological aspects, too. We need to establish clear boundaries to ensure that we’re both comfortable and safe in every aspect of our relationship.”
Anna took a deep breath, her resolve strengthening. “Let’s talk about those boundaries then. I want us to be on the same page, to know where each of us stands.”
They spent the next hour in deep conversation, discussing their desires, fears, and limits. Ivan shared his thoughts on power dynamics, the importance of trust, and the need for a safe word when they decided to let their bedroom play get crazy, something they could use if either of them felt uncomfortable at any point. Anna spoke about her need for reassurance, for the knowledge that she could always pause or stop if she needed to, without fear of judgment.
Their conversation was raw and honest, filled with moments of vulnerability that brought them closer. They didn’t shy away from the difficult topics, from the insecurities that had bubbled to the surface during their exploration. Ivan admitted his fear of losing control, of pushing too far and hurting Anna unintentionally. Anna confessed her anxiety about being seen as weak or unworthy because of her submissive desires. And she admitted that once she was more comfortable, she wanted to see Ivan in handcuffs and show him a night of unbridled pleasure at her hands.
But through it all, they reassured each other, their words weaving a tapestry of trust and mutual respect. By the time they finished, there was a newfound lightness between them, a sense of clarity and understanding that hadn’t been there before.
Ivan leaned back against the sofa, pulling Anna into his arms and on his lap. She rested her head on his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing. “I’m so glad we talked about this,” she murmured, her voice content.
“Me too,” Ivan replied, his hand gently stroking her hair. “This is how we grow, dushenka, by being open and confronting our fears together. I want you to know that I’m here for you, always. Whatever you need, we’ll figure it out.”
Anna closed her eyes, allowing herself to fully relax in his embrace. “I believe you. And I want you to know that I’m here for you, too. We’ll face whatever comes our way together.”
They stayed like that for a long time, wrapped in each other’s warmth and the comfort of knowing they were on the same path, committed to navigating their desires and boundaries with care and love.
As the night deepened, the rain outside became a gentle lullaby, lulling them into a peaceful state of acceptance. They had taken a significant step forward, not just in their relationship but in their journey toward self-acceptance and mutual understanding. In that quiet moment, they both realized that their love was strong enough to withstand the challenges ahead, that together, they could rewrite the narrative of what was acceptable, what was possible, and what was beautiful about their unique connection.
“Dushenka?” Ivan murmured as they settled under the comforter of his large bed.
“Mmmm?” she replied, snuggling closer to him.
“I love you.” He let his fingers trace lines across her shoulder.
“I love you too,” she answered, kissing his neck.
“And I want to marry you. Move in with me. Let’s plan a summer wedding together.”
Anna lifted her head and looked down at him. She smiled in the dim light. “I like that idea. We can set up the spare bedroom as our mutual office, like at your family home.”
Ivan shook his head. “No. We move to my family home. I told my parents about my plans to ask you, and they told me to take the house for us.” He reached up to stroke a piece of her hair from her face. “What do you think?”
She leaned forward, kissing him soundly. “Yes, Ivan Petrov. I will marry you, and I will move in with you in Sleepy Hollow, and we will plan the most beautiful summer wedding together.”
Ivan rolled her beneath him, kissing her soundly. “Then tomorrow, let’s plan our move and put it into action. Monday, in between classes, we can let the movers in to pack us up.”
“Agreed.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “There is one thing, though, we still need to discuss?”
“What?” he asked curiously.
She grinned mischievously at him in the dim light of the bedroom. “I still want my time slot back.”
“You lost fair and square,” Ivan protested, making Anna laugh.
“Did I?” she asked, pulling him down to kiss him again. “Remind me how I lost again,” she challenged.
Ivan stared at her before grinning, pulling the covers over his head and wiggling further down her body, making her sigh in contentment.
