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But I was already stumbling through the door, unable to so much as look at him. “I really should just go. I’m sorry.”
Ignoring Neil’s protests, I slipped out of the apartment and hurried to the lift. Tears stung my eyes. How could I ever face him again after being so reckless? I had ruined everything between us.
I mashed the down button but gave up waiting and took the fire escape stairs instead. My mind raced as I descended the steps, analysing every excruciating detail of what had just happened. I couldn’t believe I had kissed him. What on earth had possessed me to do something so foolish?
I thought he liked me. That’s why.
Was I deluded? Maybe. But the way he looked at me, the tension between us… I couldn’t have imagined it. Could I?
He had pushed me away, but why did he look pained afterwards? Was it because he was my boss? Did he think it was inappropriate? Or did he just not have those kinds of feelings for me at all?
My head spun with questions as I agonised over each minuscule interaction we shared, searching for clues I had missed. But the truth was, I had no idea what Neil was thinking.
Back in my apartment, I collapsed in a heap on the bed. I tried to meditate to mute the barrage of thoughts swirling through my mind.
Gradually, my breathing evened out, and I started to relax, but just as I neared a sense of calm, my phone buzzed on the nightstand, jolting me. My stomach dropped, knowing it was likely Neil trying to contact me. I didn’t want to hear from him, but I couldn’t stop myself from looking.
With a deep breath, I grabbed the phone. As expected, a new text message from Neil awaited me.
Please talk to me when you’re ready.
I chewed my lip, uncertain how to even begin responding. My fingers hovered over the keypad until I gave up. I just couldn’t face him yet. I turned my phone off and curled up under the blankets. I needed time to nurse my bruises in private before letting him back in. Whenever that would be. I knew one thing for sure; nothing would ever be the same between us.
Chapter Fifty
Iconsidered calling in sick on Monday, but I knew Neil would see straight through me. Besides, I couldn’t avoid him forever. Better to get it over with.
My heart thumped as I entered my office. The room was quiet. Neil’s door was ajar, but I didn’t dare peek inside. I tiptoed to my desk, hoping to delay the inevitable confrontation a little longer.
Just when I had convinced myself Neil hadn’t heard me enter, he emerged. He was dressed and groomed to perfection as usual, yet something about his demeanour seemed frayed. He looked at me with hard eyes, his mouth set in a stern line. “Good morning, Amelia. Can we speak in my office?”
So, we’re back to Amelia again.
I tried to stall. “We’re meeting with finance in fifteen minutes?—”
“This won’t take long.”
His stony expression said he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He made a head-jerking action that told me to come with him. Now.
I suppressed a shudder as I followed him into his office. He closed the door with a deliberate click. “Take a seat.”
I obeyed, perching on the edge of the couch. Neil continued to stand. I opened my mouth to explain my side of the story before he had a chance to reprimand me, but my tongue felt thick and clumsy, making me stumble over my words. “Look, I’m sorry about what happened. I just felt close to you… I don’t know what came over me.”
Neil remained shuttered. “I crossed a line. I invited you into my home—more than once. I invited you for dinner. That was negligent and an abuse of my position as your employer. If you want to report this to HR, please do so. I will accept any punishment that’s handed to me.”
I gaped. “What? No, that’s absurd! You did nothing wrong.”
Neil frowned, his forehead creasing. “Don’t make excuses for me. I manipulated you.”
“No, you didn’t. Why are you acting like I had no agency in this?”
“Amelia, please?—”
“I wanted to kiss you!” I blurted. It came out louder and more forceful than I had intended, and I slapped my hand over my mouth in shock.
Neil appeared to consider my outburst for a second before dismissing it with a shake of his head. “Regardless, whatever this is, it has to stop now. It just can’t happen. Even if I wasn’t your boss, it can’t happen.”
His rejection stung, but I pressed my case. “Why not? What would be stopping us? Hypothetically speaking.”
