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“Hello, Kova.” Sadie moved ahead of me, reaching her hand out to the small child. “My name is Lady Sadira, but you can call me Sadie.”
I stepped back into line, gritting my teeth, disappointment sharp. There would be other children to help. It wasn’t like I wouldn’t get a chance to make a difference. The growing tumult of squeals and delight were already moving steadily toward us from the hall. It didn’t matter that Sadie had beat me to being the first to reach out to Kova.
But as I turned to face the entry, I caught a look at Fitz’s face.
Absolute adoration and respect.
And all of it was aimed at Sadie.
Not me.
Michaela
Ibonded with two little girls early on. They loved Ring Around the Rosie, with all the extra verses, and then recruited three friends to join in with London Bridges, though Macie, the smaller one, wanted to be the other half of the bridge so the rest of them had to duck awfully low to get under our arms. I read stories, careful to do all the voices and show the pictures. We ate lunch together and then made a puppet show for their friends. I laughed harder than I had in months. Spending time with them brought me out of my own issues, my mother’s frustrations, and the problems with Fitz. For a moment, it all became incredibly small compared to what they were facing.
I wasn’t the only one enjoying myself either. Dagny had enlisted every kid she could into some miniature army, fitted with strange weapons like plush snakes and oversized flowers that were once a part of the décor on the walls. I swear I saw a kid wielding plastic bananas like throwing stars. But for as much chaos as she created, when she called attention, they all fell in line.
Chantal was the big surprise. I don’t know why I assumed she would be awful with sick kids, but she was amazing. When she commandeered the other reading nook, she had no less than eight children on her lap or used her skirt as a place to sit. I could do the voices, but she had a narration talent like I’d never known. I found myself distracted by the tales she weaved without a book to help her. More than once, I noticed Fitz enamored with his ex-girlfriend. And who wouldn’t be? Gorgeous and great with kids? Her stock was definitely moving up in his eyes.
It was Gwen who struggled. The kids tugged on her hands to come play, but she shook her head and stayed close to the wall, unwilling to engage. It wasn’t until Sadie and Blair convinced her to join in with them that she finally got involved.
“Higher Lady Mick, please?” Macie’s voice carried back and forth as the swing moved. Strange to have a play structure indoors, but with all the snow outside so much of the year, it made sense. I pressed my palms against her back and pushed with more force this time, sending the swing soaring. Her giggles carried over all the chaos in the room.
“Lady Mick, huh?” Fitz filled the space beside me, casting a cautious glance in my direction. “Not Lady Coco?”
“No, Coco is just for Mom and—” I stopped before I admitted he was the only other person allowed to use my nickname. “Coco is special.”
“Coco is special,” Fitz agreed after a moment. I thought he might leave, but a little boy tugged on his coat and asked if he would push him on the swing next to Macie’s. Of course, he agreed because saying no to them was pretty much impossible. We stood side-by-side, awkwardness swelling exponentially as time passed. Something needed to be said, but try as I may, I couldn’t think of anything. Certainly not anything I could say out in the open where a camera or a fellow competitor could pick it up.
“I was wrong,” Fitz broke the silence between us first. “I overreacted to…” He looked around before he shook his head. “Well, you know. And I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re still here.”
“Nothing happened,” I reiterated again.
“It wouldn’t matter if it had,” he cleared his throat, “and while it certainly looked like it was about to,” I started to speak but he pressed on over me, “it doesn’t matter if it was or not. I was in the wrong. I acted like a child, unwilling to share, and I apologize for that behavior. I hope we are still friends.”
“Of course, we’re friends, Fitz. If that’s what you want.” Macie’s swing swooped away from me, so I took the brief pause to look at him. He felt my stare and met it, but the pain etched into his features drove a dagger into my gut.
He wouldn’t say it, but I could see it.
No, friendship wasn’t what he wanted, but with all the obligations he faced, that was his only choice.
We both returned to our duties as the swings returned, kids ready for another push. I sent Macie soaring again and her laughter helped to take the edge off the sting of what I could never have with Fitz.
“Mom says hi,” I said awkwardly as the silence filtered back in. “Also, international calls are pricy.”
He chuckled at the understatement. “I’ll foot the bill. Talk to your mother all you want. It’s the least I can do, considering.” Fitz took a moment to help the little boy stop the swing and get down. Turning back to me he asked, “How is your mother?”
“Obsessed with her new boyfriend. I mean, she’s upset that I might not make it home for Christmas, but at the same time, I’m not sure she’ll notice. Apparently, Shawn wants to make some new traditions for just the two of them.”
“That must be strange for you.”
“It is,” I admitted. “It’s been me and Mom for a really long time and now she’s adding this new aspect to her life and, I don’t know, maybe if I was making my own family it would be different, but right now it feels like…”
“Like she’s leaving you behind,” he finished for me.
“Exactly.” I pressed my lips together,. “Any chance you know an eligible bachelor who might want a train wreck like me?”
His cheeks spread into the kind of smile that melted my knees. “I’ll keep a look out. Bludgeon him on the head and lock him in the tower for safekeeping.” Turning like he meant to survey the rest of the room, he watched the others for a moment before he said, “Bishop is available and interested.”
