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“But you gave her the charm. If you regretted it…”
My eyes closed as I remembered my panic. “We didn’t feel the same way. Gwen thought…”
“She felt the chemistry, you didn’t.”
“Exactly.” The scent of her shampoo teased my senses. Coconut and jasmine. Intoxicating. “She told me that if it wasn’t there for us, she was leaving and… I don’t know—I panicked.”
“And totally confused her in the process.” I thought she would pick up her head to talk to me, but she burrowed a little deeper as though she sensed my need for comfort. “You do realize you’re just kicking this can down the road, right?”
“What can?”
“It’s an American saying. You’re prolonging pain.” Her leg shifted against mine as she made herself comfortable. “Eventually, you’ll have to tell her.”
“I’m aware.”
“Is a part of you still hoping it’ll work out?”
She knew me too well. “Yes. The incredibly delusional side of me.” One of her loose curls looped perfectly about my finger. “See, she was the plan. Like my community college of future wives.”
That brought her head up. Brow creased, Coco said, “I think you lost me with that logic.”
“Remember?” Were her eyes always this blue? “When you used to talk about your dream universities and where you would go if you could have anything, and then you talked about your…” I struggled to recall the word she’d used, “for surety school, and how you knew no matter what you could attend.”
I loved that her smile showed not only in her mouth and cheeks, but in her eyes as well. “Safety school, you goober.”
“Right. Well, Gwendolyn was my safety pick. If everything else failed…”
“You could marry her.”
“Precisely.”
“And now, you’re spiraling because you have no backup plan.” Was she really laughing at my distress? I might not have noticed except that with my hand on her back, I felt the gentle bounce. “You realize, Your Highness, you’re in the same boat as the rest of the world?”
“Hardly.” I didn’t even try to hide my objection. “If you, or any other person, doesn’t marry, the weight of a country doesn’t bear down on you. The history books won’t cite you as the reason the country failed or fell into civil war.”
“No,” she poked my chest once and made me squirm, “but my Aunt Ida is real judgy.”
“Oh, that definitely makes us equal then.” I adjusted the blanket once more, but truth be told, it was mostly to allow some freedom in rubbing my palm over her back. The way it released that soft hum from her lips, I found myself positively beaming each time I heard it.
“It’ll work out, Fitz. You don’t have a safety net, but you don’t need one.” Her palm flattened over my chest, and I clenched my teeth to keep from reacting to the rush in my veins. “These contestants, these women, they would do anything to get your attention.”
Close as I could tell, most of them were more interested in murder than falling in love.
“Tell me more about that. Who do you think I should pick?”
Her hand twitched, not enough to pull it away but definitely enough that I felt it. “It’s too soon to know that. Blair is the real deal. Eirene is—”
“An activist,” I answered for her. “We had a lovely chat. I might extend a job offer.”
“Oh swoon!” she purred. “I’m sure that’s a great way to start a marriage.”
“Who else?” I practically growled it at her.
“You don’t like hearing it, but Esmerey is still a jerk. Not as open about it as Fallon, but she definitely thinks she’s better than everyone.” That didn’t surprise me, but Coco kept going. “But I will say, she’s here for you, not civil war or to attack you. She was a beast on that course because she wanted time with you.”
But was it me she wanted or the crown? I wasn’t sure how to pull the two apart.
“And what of Sadie?” I tried to pick my words carefully. “She looked, different… tonight.”
