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I don’t have words. There’s nothing I can say to make his pain and bitterness make sense.
“My parents never stopped searching for a way to help me though. And when I turned eleven, a surgeon heard about my case and reached out to my parents. There was no guarantee it would work, but they weren’t sure how much longer my miracle would last. I had open heart surgery. They repaired the defects, and it was a total success. I was in physical therapy for three years afterward since I’d never really been able to be a normal active child, but now, it’s like it never happened. I’m completely healed.”
“I would have never guessed.” It sounds stupid and hollow to say it, but I don’t know how else to explain my amazement at his story. “But it doesn’t exactly explain why things are the way they are between you and Rhett.”
Carl takes the exit leading to a large parking lot. His jaw slides back and forth as he considers his words. “We’re the same peg for the same hole. Once they had him, they couldn’t give him back. But I’ve always felt like we didn’t need him anymore. If they’d just waited a little longer, I would have been healed. They replaced me before I was in the grave, and every time I look at him, that’s what I see.”
He parks and kills the engine. Gripping the steering wheel, he leans forward to rest his head there. “I know. It makes me a terrible person. Rhett got dealt a hard hand with his parents getting killed and no family wanting to take him in. But I spent years in bed waiting to see if that was the day I would die, so really, who had it worse?”
I struggle to find words to fill these gaping holes, but I’m not sure they exist. In all honesty, I don’t know him at all. I don’t know Rhett much better. I’m at a total loss for where to go from here.
“So,” Carl doesn’t lift his head, “that’s our family’s dirty secret. At least you’re caught up now and you know what you walked into when Rhett asked you to come stay with us.”
“But, the ranch work, you don’t seem interested in any of it. Or am I wrong?”
Carl leans back letting his palms slap against his legs. “No, I don’t care about the ranch. It’s not important to me. I love music. It was all I had for years when I couldn’t do hardly anything at all.”
Feeling like I’m walking across an emotional rope bridge in his mind, I take my words with caution. “Then, isn’t Rhett a blessing? Without him, you’d feel connected to the ranch and obligated to take over for your parents. Now, Rhett can do it and you are free to do anything you want.”
Carl gives a slow nod. “Yeah, that’s Rhett. The blessing that came out of nowhere to fix everything. He’s everything they ever wanted me to be. I guess I should be more grateful.”
He opens his door without another word. I sit for a second, still reeling at what he said. Growing up, I never thought I’d find a family more complicated than mine. I’m pretty sure Carl just proved me wrong.
Rhett
We're in the saddle all day. Work is never done around a ranch like ours. I’m generally pretty easy going, but today I feel the need to accomplish more than normal. Keeping my hands and mind busy, it’s a technique I’ve perfected over the years. It’s easier not to think about anything else if I’m always moving.
Houston shoots me a dirty look before he spurs his horse to bring in the cows that have wandered. Up the hill, Austin and Getty work on a fence that was damaged in recent winds. Weston and Ferrel are still out checking irrigation lines while Buck and Silas must be up to their elbows in the hay delivery by now.
Not even the waves crashing in the distance soothe me today. I feel like a storm building on the horizon, and I can’t even pinpoint the reason. Not exactly. I don’t like that Carl is alone with Sunny. He’s a bit too much like Austin, silver tongued and a ladies’ man. She doesn’t need that in her life right now. I have to admit, I’m kicking myself for not listening to Cookie and telling her about my origins. I can only imagine what Carl will tell her. It won’t take long before he turns her against me.
He’s done it before.
I urge Chance to move out, needing to get involved instead of watching the work. I have sincere doubts about my ability to ever fully run this ranch. It was meant for blood and lately, I feel the lack deep in my soul. I make a good ranch hand, but I doubt my ability to lead.
“Hey thundercloud,” Getty yells from his work on the fence, “you gonna let up at all, or are we planning on working through the night?”
Austin snickers under his breath but keeps his head down. They all know Getty is just about the only member of the staff who can say things like that.
“You gonna keep working like an old man?” I tease back, some of the tension draining out of me. “Because at the rate you’re going, I might as well have Austin build a new fence.”
Getty shakes his hammer at me. “Forty is the new thirty, young man.”
Austin can’t keep quiet anymore. “And what with you being sixty, that means nothing.”
“Fifty-one.” Getty points that hammer at Austin. “And you best remember it, whippersnapper.”
Chance grows impatient with our talk, shifting his weight side to side.
“I’m going out to check everything to the south. I’ll be back by feeding.”
Getty rises from where he’s working. “You need help?”
“No.” Chance must feel the tension in my bones because it’s hard to keep him contained. “Getty stay here. You’re in charge until I get back.”
Austin groans just enough to prick Getty into throwing his leather glove at him. I could stay, but I need to move. Sometimes the urge hits me, like when I was a kid and I had to get out of the foster home. Sometimes, I need to run.
Chapter 9
