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In all honesty, I’d rather be leaving with Rhett, but I know he’s busy. He barely said six words to me while I helped the riders get out on their horses. Actually, all he said was, “While you’re out, you should grab some hair dye.”
It feels like a strange thing to say to someone you barely know, but as my only ally at this moment, it’s not like I can ignore him.
Spending the day alone with Carl feels strange. Our previous interaction was confusing at best, but I need some basics. In my haste to leave, I left behind too many necessities. I don’t have a toothbrush, shampoo, a hairbrush, none of it. In reality, Buddy is right. I don’t have the clothes for this job either. It’s not like I was working on the ranch where I lived.
“It’s this one up here.” Carl motions to the gray sedan. “I’m surprised I was able to wrest you away from Ol’ Steel Eyes.”
I follow him into the car, taking the front seat. I shouldn’t ask. I shouldn’t pry, but it’s getting to the point that I can’t help it anymore.
“What is it between you two? You don’t get along?”
Carl turns the key in the ignition. The engine roars to life before he switches into reverse. I’m not sure he’s planning to answer me. Without another word on the subject, he pulls away from the house and heads for the highway. The car stays quiet other than a radio station playing old rock at gentle volumes.
“Dad handed me some cash, an advance on your paycheck if you need it.”
“I’ll be okay.” Money isn’t something I have a lack of, but I don’t want to talk about that, and I change the subject quickly. “It was nice of your mom to think of me. I wasn’t sure she wanted me here at all.” I try another subject, hoping Carl won’t remain silent the entire trip.
“I’m not sure she wants you here, but she’s pretty generous, and she’s agonizing over the idea of a girl being in a bunkhouse with all those men.” His eyebrow twitches. “She says it’s not right.”
“It may not be right for anyone else, but I don’t mind.” Feeling like it won’t hurt to tell him, I add, “I have two step-brothers. I’m used to living with guys, I guess.”
“That explain some of it.”
“Some of what?”
“How you’re fitting in.” Carl takes the first turn out on the highway. “I figured you’d take off within the first thirty-six hours. They’re a pretty rough lot.”
“They’re not that bad. Actually, they’re very respectful of me and my privacy.”
“I’m sure Rhett’s leading the charge, gallant knight that he is.” Carl draws in a breath but holds it for a couple counts before he lets it go again. That same uncomfortable silence starts to seep back into the car. I’m not sure how to shoo it away. Both brothers seem to have a chip on their shoulder about the other one.
“So, what has he told you about our little family?” Carl’s hands twist on the steering wheel, but he keeps his eyes on the road.
It almost feels like a trap in the way that he says it, like Rhett might have lied about something.
“Not much. He’s adopted, I know that. And I know he was older when your parents adopted him.”
Carl nods along as I speak. “All true. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you the rest.”
“I’m listening if you want to.” It feels like he’s aching to talk about it, and yet doesn’t want to all in the same breath. “But we can leave it alone too.” I leave off the part reminding him that no one knows anything about me.
“My parents got married later in life. Dad dragged his feet in looking for a wife, always planning to have his ranch come first. And then he met Mom, and he couldn’t live without her.” Admiration beams in his eyes. “Mom was thirty-nine when she had me. I was born with a rare heart defect. At the time, doctors said it was inoperable. There was nothing they could do. I probably wouldn’t make it a month.”
Stillness settles between us. I look away to give him a moment to organize his thoughts. The tide rolls in at my right side. Waves crash over sandy beaches, completely unaware of the heart that bleeds in the driver’s seat. That’s the nature of life. People get hurt, people are born, live, die, all of it, the world keeps turning completely unaware of the pain inflicted by the passage of time and trial.
“My parents were devastated but determined to love me for as long as they had me. And then a miracle happened.” Carl gives a slight shrug. “I turned one. Then two. Then five. I just kept growing and getting older.”
“Did your heart heal itself?” I’d heard of it in animals, a murmur being rectified as the foal grew older. Sometimes bodies could adapt and find a way to get around the defect as well.
“Not at all. I was on oxygen most of the time. I was small, weak, and couldn’t do what other kids could. My Dad had hoped I would be able to take on the duties of the ranch when I got older, but every day I got worse. Mom said that around my ninth birthday, she would hold her breath every time I closed my eyes, worried I wouldn’t wake up again.”
Carl keeps his eyes on the road. The story feels like one he’s told before, rehearsed but no more lacking in wonder because clearly, he’s healthy, he’s not on oxygen and he’s strong.
“Knowing I had little time left, and that all the time they’d been given with me was a gift, they began to worry about the ranch and who would carry it on after Dad couldn’t anymore.” Carl clears his throat and pinches his nose for a second before he continues. “They heard about a boy who lost his parents and was struggling with foster care. They went to see him and next thing I know, they’ve brought me back an older brother named Everett.”
He doesn’t have to spell out the feelings, they’re tangible enough that I feel like they’re sitting in the backseat like passengers. Jealousy. Frustration. Anger. Rhett was adopted as Carl’s replacement. He was the failsafe to keep the family ranch running.
“He was stronger than me, healthier than me, and fell right in with Dad from the start.” Carl shrugs. “Rhett always did the right things. He was everything Dad had wanted in a son. I tried to keep up, but there’s no spot for an oxygen tank on a saddle.”
