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When he did, she guided his palm to press against the side of her bump. It was a surprisingly firm curve. Through the layer of cotton and the warmth of her body, he felt the slightest nudge against his palm.
His breath was kicked clean out of him.
He swung his awe-filled gaze to his wife and caught such a look of envy and sorrow on her face, it was another punch to the gut. She wanted to be the one to give him this. He knew that. She might have lied about other things, but her desire to have this baby was real.
She hid her torment behind a faint smile, then pointed at Molly’s phone on the bedside table.
“Call if you need me. We have an apartment a few blocks away. I’ll come back when Patty lands.”
“Okay,” Molly murmured, blinking sleepily. “It’s going to be okay, Sash.”
“I know,” Sasha said, but when she looked up at Rafael, there was nothing but hell in her eyes. She knew as well as he did that they stood to lose everything.
Including each other.
The apartment in Athens was a one-bedroom flat they kept stocked for occasions when they had a late night in the city.
While Rafael set out some takeout he’d picked up, Sasha pulled on a pair of soft joggers and a long-sleeved shirt, chilled to the bone by the air-conditioning that was staving off the still-hot September temperatures.
She knocked back a shot of ouzo on her way to the table before accepting the glass of white wine Rafael poured her. Absolutely nothing in her was interested in the souvlaki skewers he plated.
“I was going to tell you when you came back to the island, but you went to Asia—”
“And there was no possible way you could have told me over the phone,” he said coldly. “Or simply told the truth when I asked you in Rome.”
Heaviness sat on her heart. It was the heaviness of earned guilt.
“I know I’m in the wrong. I know you’ll have a hard time forgiving me, but... You laughed at me, Rafael.” The mere mention of it still caused a piercing sensation in the middle of her chest.
“When?” He was ignoring his own meal, pacing with a slight limp, but otherwise back to being the dynamic man she’d married—severely handsome and so muscled and powerful, his stiff shoulders strained the fabric of his shirt.
“When I told you I loved you.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“You did. I said I loved you and you said you thought I was going to say I love Molly. Then you laughed.”
“At myself. For thinking that,” he said impatiently. “That doesn’t excuse your making a fool of me ever since!”
“That’s not why I did it,” she said wearily. “That’s why it started. Actually, I was screwing with my parents and it snowballed from there. I—” She made herself stop pacing. Stop trying to find rationalizations.
Stop running from the past.
She turned to face him. She faced all of it head-on.
“When I was sixteen, one of Humbolt’s friends seduced me. I got pregnant and ran away to have the baby. I lived with Molly and her mom. They adopted her. Molly’s sister, Libby, is my daughter.”
He stood so still she didn’t think he was even breathing.
She swallowed and folded her arms around herself.
“That’s why I was so upset when I couldn’t get pregnant. I did it before without even trying. I should have been able to do it again.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that?”
“I couldn’t make the words come out of my mouth.” That was the truth, but not the whole truth. She took a shaken breath. “I buried that secret because it hurt, Rafael. It hurt so much that I couldn’t look at it myself, let alone show it to you. We didn’t share secrets. You said you were fond of me, but was that fondness going to hold up under knowing your wife had an affair with a married man? One with small children at home?”
“He had kids? How old was he?”
