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Fynn smiles again. “On the edge,” he concedes. “It’s a lot of legal mumbo jumbo and loopholes and the fact that our membership includes many of the most powerful men and women in the city…hell the state. We don’t draw a lot of attention to ourselves…outside the security of the front doors, so as long as we maintain a low profile and the privacy of our members…. everything is good.”
I nod. “Impressive. And you own this?”
He nods.
“You work too?” I blurt it out before I can properly phrase the question, unsure if he will take offense. I clear my throat a bit.
“If you mean do I provide services myself? Yes, I do.”
“Nandy is a… member?”
He weighs his words carefully and eyes me. “Nandy is an…investor.”
I furrow my brow. So, he’s got a stake in this. Possibly a big one. Is this why he keeps me at arm’s length and farther? “But he has taken advantage of the services.”
His hesitation to answer that question tells me the answer is a resounding yes. And he takes advantage of those services with Fynn. And I return to my original question.
“What is your relationship with him? You guys are fucking?” My tone is sharp, filled with a jealousy I can’t control and it’s burning in my chest.
“We have, yes.”
That burning turns to stabbing.
“Recently?”
“TJ, if you and Nandy haven’t talked about this…I’m…you need to hear this from him.”
I stand and start pacing. Fuck, why am I so spun out about this? We are friends. He’s my best friend. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had. I thought I was over the need to have sex with him. The need to be with a man. Because that is not what it is about anymore.
It’s about being with Nandy. His face is the one I see when I grab my dick in my hand at night and jerk the orgasm out hard and fast and rough.
I hadn’t been with a woman for months before I met him. Since meeting him, I haven’t even looked at a woman. And now I’m here in Nandy’s apartment with a stunningly beautiful man who has fucked the man I want. The man I thought I was happy to settle into a friendship with.
But he is actively fucking someone else, and that pisses me off. I sweep my hands through my hair and stare out the window.
“TJ,” Fynn is next to me now and his voice is soft and calm. “I didn’t mean to upset you. You need to know…you are the one he wants. He has since he laid eyes on you.”
I turn, my mouth agape again. “But…”
“His past, I don’t know what he has told you…it’s not my story to tell—”
“I know there was someone who used him…went back to his wife…that’s why he is so determined to stay away from straight men.”
Fynn nods. “Yes. It was way more brutal than Nandy probably let on. It nearly broke him. It certainly made him give up on love and the possibility of a relationship. His music has always been his first love, and he then vowed it would be his only.”
“And you?” I ask.
“I was a place to get off. Something better than a hand.”
“Was?”
He looks at me. I’m hit with jealousy, but also a tinge of sadness that Fynn sees himself as nothing more than that. He deserves better.
“Are?”
“He wants you, TJ. He won’t admit it. And he may never give in…but he wants you. He cares about you.”
The churning in my gut won’t stop.
