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Shit.
Ethan was really failing at being a good caretaker tonight. What she needed was to not make choices and he kept giving her choices, thinking it might help her feel better.
It wasn’t.
And he needed to stop.
“That’s okay. I watch plenty.” He took the remote from her and settled in the corner of the L-shaped couch with his legs out in front of him. “Come here, baby.”
“Um, where?”
He patted the space between his open legs. “Right here. You can rest your back against my chest. And I have your blanket.”
“Are you sure that will be comfortable for you? What if I’m too heavy?”
“Cate, come over here.” He kept his tone soft, but it was firm enough that she started moving toward him without argument.
That was better.
He settled her in against him with her bottom cradled between his thighs.
She was stiff. Was she not comfortable with him touching her like this?
Or was she uncertain of what she was supposed to do?
“Are you comfortable with this? Remember, if anything worries you that you can say your safeword. No matter what.” He drew the weighted blanket over her, then handed her toy to her. She hugged Lady tight.
“I don’t want to stretch your boundaries to the point that you withdraw from me. The point of this is to make you more comfortable with me. Not less.”
“I’m more comfortable with you touching me than I am with anyone else other than Rhodes. And that’s a different sort of touch.”
“Good. Because I want to touch you constantly. I also want to help you when the world becomes overwhelming and you need someone to ground you. To shelter you.”
“I really like the sound of that. But what will I give you?” she asked. “I don’t want things to be uneven.”
He moved his fingers to her scalp, massaging lightly. “I told you I like to be needed. I like to feel in control. To protect and give care. If you like those things in return. If you need care and protection and to let go. Then I think you’re already giving me everything I need.”
“It sounds simple when I know it’s not. Or, I don’t think it’s that simple.” She let out a small groan as he continued his massage.
“I think it can be. There will always be challenges. But if you care about the person, want them to be happy, if you’re prepared to be honest, then it really can be that simple.”
“Even if being with me brings different sorts of challenges?” she asked.
“Baby, I’ve never backed away from a challenge yet. I certainly don’t intend to when the prize is you.”
32
“I’m not certain I should like being referred to as a prize. Although part of me kind of does.”
He had to grin at the reluctance in her voice as she told him the last part.
“I think you’re a prize because you’re the most compelling, beautiful, intelligent woman I’ve ever met, and I want you more than I’ve wanted anything in my life.”
“Oh. Well. If you put it like that it’s different.”
His smile grew wider. “I forgot the cutest.”
“Yes. I do seem to be that.”
