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I clenched my jaw, the brush in my hand stilling as I fought to keep my emotions in check. I wanted to believe her, but the guilt was too overwhelming, too consuming. "It was," I muttered. "I let my guard down. I failed you."
Gwen reached out with her good hand, gently cupping my cheek, her touch warm and reassuring. "You didn't fail me," she insisted. "You did everything you could. And I'm still here, because of you."
I closed my eyes, leaning into her touch, trying to absorb the comfort she was offering. But it was hard. Too hard. I was supposed to be the strong one, the protector, the one who kept her safe. But I had failed, and the weight of that failure was crushing me.
I finished painting her toenails in silence, each stroke of the brush a reminder of how close I came to losing her. When I was done, I gently blew on her toes to help the polish dry, my heart heavy with the words I couldn't say. The words that were lodged in my throat, choking me.
"I love you," Gwen whispered, her voice barely audible.
I looked up at her, my chest tightening. I wanted to say it back, to tell her how much she meant to me, how terrified I was of losing her. But the words wouldn't come. They were stuck, buried under layers of guilt and self-recrimination.
Instead, I nodded, the corners of my mouth lifting in a small, sad smile. "I love you too," I said, my voice rough and unsteady.
Gwen smiled, a tear slipping down her cheek as she leaned forward and kissed me, her lips soft and warm against mine. The kiss was brief, but it was enough to remind me of what I almost lost, of what I needed to protect at all costs.
When she pulled back, she wiped her tear away with the back of her hand and chuckled softly. "You did a pretty good job," she said, wiggling her toes. "I might have to hire you as my personal pedicurist."
I let out a shaky laugh, grateful for the brief moment of levity. "I'll add it to my resume," I joked, though my heart wasn't really in it.
Gwen watched me for a moment, her expression softening as she reached out and took my hand in hers. "Atticus," she said gently, "you don't have to carry this burden alone. We're in this together."
I squeezed her hand, the warmth of her touch grounding me, anchoring me in the present. "I know," I murmured, though the guilt still lingered, a shadow that refused to dissipate.
She smiled at me, that sweet, genuine smile that made my heart ache. "We'll get through this," she said with quiet conviction. "Together."
I nodded, though I wasn't sure I believed her. But for her sake, I would try. I would do whatever it took to keep her safe, to make sure she never had to go through something like this again.
As I helped her back onto the bed and tucked her in, I leaned down and kissed her forehead, the simple act bringing a lump to my throat. "Get some rest," I whispered, my voice thick with emotion.
Gwen looked up at me, her eyes filled with love and trust, and for a moment, I felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, we could get through this. Together.
As I turned off the light and left the room, I made a silent vow. I would protect her, no matter what. I would keep her safe, even if it meant pushing her away, even if it meant sacrificing my own peace of mind. Because she was worth it. She was everything.
And I couldn't bear the thought of losing her again.
7
Gwen
A few more days at home and Atticus finally decided to let me go into the office. I was so excited I even packed my lunch the night before.
He still refused to sleep with me, which was beyond annoying. He would kiss me goodnight at my door like I was some kind of villain trying to steal his virtue.
But at night, I could hear him in the shower, groaning my name as he came. I knew that’s what he was doing. I’d tried to communicate to him that I was feeling better every day, that he didn’t need to treat me like glass.
Hell, we'd had the kind of sex that was probably banned in several countries. It wasn't even the sex I missed most, though I did miss that. But even more, I missed the way he would look at me, the questions he would ask, trying to probe at a deeper level. Now he just looked at me like I was on a pedestal, like I was someone to protect. Something to own. Something to take down and polish every once in a while then put back. Not like I was the woman he loved. But we were going to deal with that. It had been a rough few weeks, and we just needed to get into our groove again. I started physical therapy in a few days, and hopefully, once he saw that I wasn't going to shatter and break at the slightest provocation, he would relax just a little and let me breathe. Because we could not sustain the way things were right now. I would kill him.
As I left the penthouse, I was surrounded by men. One or two I understood. But five? I had expected one of the guys I knew, and occasionally Sven or Rowan made the cut, but they were mostly guys I didn’t know.
I had tried to get to know them better by chatting them up, but Atticus had made it pretty clear they were not meant to be my friends. They were meant to protect and to watch my back.
I mean, if people were watching my back, shouldn’t I like them? So despite his growling doom and gloom mood, I was at the very least polite and welcoming. I liked to know the people I worked with.
It didn't matter though. Nothing could dampen my mood today. Back to work at last. I knew Atticus had delayed our latest release when I was in the hospital, but I needed to check on it. I also needed to have several meetings with my team, reconnect with VPs on the technology side, and make sure everything was still on track for our goals. Then I needed to find someone to explain to me exactly what I was supposed to do with all the damn shares I owned of Pendragon Tech.
I’d tried to broach the subject with Atticus a couple of days ago, but he hadn't wanted to talk about it and told me not to worry about that right now. If I could sneak some time in his calendar, I'd talk to Micah. He would know.
Morgan and my stepmother would probably say I was a workaholic. I understood why they would say that because there were times that it felt like everything I did was about the office. But I loved my work.
