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“My turn!” Steven shouts with a smile, walking toward us. I glance to Jaxson and Aragorn to discover that, at some point, Maggie took Laura’s place. I hadn’t noticed, I was so distracted by all the fun I was having. Even if Ben and I didn’t have electricity sparking between us, this would’ve been one of the most memorable days of my life.
He helps me down, and I pet Arwen’s strong neck, just under her soft, thick, tan mane. “Thank you, Beautiful. My thighs will hate me tomorrow, but I had a wonderful time riding you.”
Before Steven is within earshot, Ben locks eyes with me, hand holding the reins to maintain control of the horse so she doesn’t walk away before the next rider comes. His voice is deep and filled with heat as he says, “Did you have to mention your thighs? I’ve been thinking of them this whole time.”
I laugh, all of me on fire as I start walking back to Sunflower. If only it was just us out here.
Looking back at Ben, I express my gratitude for his guidance and support, all professional politeness, pretending to Steven that it’s the only thing between us. I turn my attention to my fellow guest. “He’s a good teacher.”
Ben warns, “We can’t go long. She’ll be needing a rest soon.”
I smile, and wave, “Oopsie,” as Steven expression shows his disappointment.
Wearing yoga pants to ride horses? C’mon Steven.
“Can I go again tomorrow then,” I hear him ask, the affirmative his answer.
With newfound skills and a sense of empowerment, I feel like I’m ready to embark on more challenging adventures, forever grateful for Sunflower’s role in my journey. I’m practically floating up to my room, and as soon I get there, I call my best friend, “Guess what, Gem? I’m ready to be more spontaneous.”
“You kinda proved that with this trip!”
“No, I don’t mean just that.” I throw myself onto the bed and my free arm into the air. “I mean with everything!”
TWENTY-SIX
Ben
Inervously adjust my jeans as we approach the front door of Sunflower, making sure my green shirt is tucked in. Tonight is not just any ordinary night; it's a dinner party with the woman I can’t stop thinking about. My heart is racing with anticipation, and Jonny looks up at me. “Dad, isn’t that your best shirt?”
“I don’t know if I’d call it…” Deciding instantly that I don’t want to ever lie to my boy, I correct myself, “Yes. It is.”
“Why did you tell me to wear my new grey jeans and blue button-up to dinner? I never wear button-ups. I don’t even know why I have this.”
Because we haven’t gone out enough to events where you need it. I’m going to make that change.
Just outside the front door, we pause. “Why didn’t you ask me this when I told you to wear these?”
“I wanted to but…”
Kneeling down to be more his height, I take his small hand. “Jonny, you don’t have to walk on eggshells with me. You can ask anything you want. Say anything you want.”
“Okay,” is all he replies, but the look in his eyes shows trepidation regardless of my earnestness. His mom has been a mine-field lately. I have to fix that. But how? First, just make it safe for him to be with me. That’s what I have control over.
“I mean it, buddy. Anything. Don’t censor yourself.”
Doubtful, he asks, “Mean it?”
“Absolutely! I want to hear what you think. What you have to say. All of it. Holding that shit in, it’s no good.”
He grins, “You swore.”
Letting go of his hand, I rise up to my full height of six-foot-six. “I walk the talk.”
“Right,” he nods with a sparkle in his green eyes. “Walk the talk.” As my hand reaches for the knob, he quickly asks, Isn’t it just Grandma and Grandpa and their retreat guests?”
“And Sylvia.”
“Then why are we dressed up? Is it a party or just dinner?”
