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I’d been a part of the reason. I intended on making up for everything that had occurred and more.
If only she’d let me.
“Now, Selena. Business can wait.”
“No, it can’t. We need to find out who murdered your father. I need to be ready when the tests come back. We have to make a plan. What about this New York firm?”
“Everything can wait. Period.”
She glanced from one screen to the other before a look of resignation crossed her face. She stood and I was fearful she’d pass out. But she sucked in her breath, grabbed her glass with a shaky hand, and followed me.
I led her to the smaller deck with a perfect view of the ocean, nodding toward one of the chairs.
While she obeyed without question, she was tenser than I’d ever seen her. I sat down beside her, placing the wine between us and allowing her some space. I hated that she was deathly quiet.
“Families can be difficult. When I was sick, my father almost never visited the hospital; my birth mother, who was still alive then, remained by my side almost one hundred percent of the time. She lost weight yet did what she could to keep a smile on her face. I developed a real hatred for my father at that point, determined never to talk to him again. I made myself a promise I’d never be like him under any circumstances. She sat me down one day just after I was released after the first remission and explained my father was a devastated man and that he’d believed he was the reason I’d gotten sick.”
“Why?” she managed to ask in her small voice.
“Because his mother had cancer, his brother as well. He couldn’t face what had happened to me and didn’t want to see me like that. While she didn’t say he was right in never coming to visit, she helped me understand my father had simply shut down. It took a long time to realize his coping skills were what they were. Unfortunately, I think I’m more like my dad than I thought I was.”
She seemed thoughtful, reflective, and turned her head back toward the ocean. The next few minutes were full of silence as we enjoyed our wine. It was funny to think that all I really wanted was to have her by my side. Maybe it was cathartic more than anything. Whatever the case, I was pushed to a point that my anger needed to go away. She needed to learn she could not only trust me, but also rely on me.
“My father fired me. I think he also sent me out of his life.”
Her voice was somewhat stronger but that didn’t make what she was telling me any easier. But right now, I knew I had to keep my mouth shut.
“I always loved Daddy. He seemed so strong, as if he could conquer the world, but seeing the look in his eyes was just… well, it was soul crushing. It was like I was betraying everything. Him as a man, as my boss, and as his daughter. I haven’t been able to think or even breathe since I saw it.”
I reached over, doing nothing more than taking her hand into mine, surprised when she allowed the gesture.
“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t intend for that to happen.”
“I know you didn’t, Valerio. You might be many things, but you’ve never been cruel to me at least. I’m a big girl and I made the decision not because you forced me but because I wanted to. It took me until a little while ago to realize that. I don’t know what to make of it or what you think, but I want to be your wife. Maybe just short term but it makes me happy. So does finding the monster who did this.”
“I don’t ever want to force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”
She twisted in her seat so she could study me. “I promise you that you’re not. I just… I just feel a bit lost. I hope you understand I’m not all together right now. But I’ll regroup.”
I pulled her hand to my lips, kissing her knuckles. “Baby. You can do anything you want or don’t want and I’ll support you. We are in this together. Okay?”
“Okay. I believe you.”
“Can you trust me?”
She brushed hair from her face and nodded. “I think I trust you more than I do myself.”
“Don’t be so hard on that cupcake girl of mine. You’re pretty special. Now, come here.”
“I am here.”
“Right here.” I pointed to my lap and she flushed the cutest shade of pink.
She purposely took a couple of sips of wine, ignoring me as if she could do that for long. I allowed it until I couldn’t take it any longer, taking her glass and mine and placing them on the side table. Without hesitation, I pulled her into my lap and when I did, she laughed.
“What is this?”
“This is called me giving a shit about you, my sweet Selena. You are a rock but right now, I’m going to comfort you.”
