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And eyes that were staring into mine.
And I heard myself say it, words that could be too little, too late.
“I love you.”
Life changed on a dime.
There was no guarantee of tomorrow, often no chance to say goodbyes or words that should have been said years before.
That’s what I was thinking as I stood staring out the window of the busy waiting room of the hospital. I wasn’t even entirely certain how I’d gotten there. I only knew I’d refused to let go of her.
Now, waiting in the crowded emergency room, raised voices and people scurrying about like rats was just another stark reminder that life was too short.
“Drink some coffee.”
I glanced down at the Styrofoam cup in front of me, shaking my head. I knew Gage was trying, both my brothers remaining by my side. I doubted I’d be standing there if they hadn’t partially pulled us to safety.
“I can’t,” I said.
“Come on, bro. You’ve been standing here in this position for an hour,” Braxton said as he moved his back against the window so he could stare at me.
“At least he’s not screaming at the nurses and doctors any longer,” Gage chortled. “Take the damn coffee.”
He jutted the cup in front of me and I finally snagged it. While I knew all the emergency care workers were just trying to do their jobs, they weren’t working fast enough. Not for me.
“Why the hell haven’t they told me anything yet?” I demanded, turning enough to give the workers at the emergency room desk a nasty glare.
“They will when they can,” Braxton said quietly. “Remember, they are worried about spinal cord injuries and internal bleeding.”
“Fuck. Fuck!” I slammed my fist on the glass and several people waiting glanced in my direction. “What if I didn’t save her? What if she’s died because…” Of me.
“But you did. You were pretty fucking heroic out there,” Gage told me.
We were all staring at the cops remaining just outside the emergency room like vultures. Even the press had found out, waiting until our departure. Well, fuck them.
“Not according to the cops and the firefighters,” Braxton said mostly in jest. I knew what he was doing, trying to keep me from spiraling into a place of darkness.
“Fuck them too. I did what I had to do.” I was even pointing at my chest. What was I doing, trying to convince myself I’d done everything in my power? Shit. What if she was paralyzed? Because of me.
I couldn’t stomach the thought.
Goddamn, if another child started screaming, I was going to lose my shit. When I heard several sets of feet thumping as they ran in our direction, I spun around so fast I almost dropped the cup.
Several medical professionals were racing someone on a gurney our way down the corridor. I started to race forward and Braxton stopped me.
“It’s not her, brother. You need to breathe.”
“How the fuck can I breathe when she’s in there and I’m out here?” Neither Gage nor Braxton had seen me completely off the rails like this.
I rubbed my eyes, finally taking a sip of coffee. The rage continued. Whatever she’d found was on the goddamn laptop. At least I’d had Tony remain at the house, ensuring no one tried to steal or damage it.
But finding the person responsible would have to wait.
For now.
“A black fucking SUV. That could be anyone including half the employees working for Dad’s company. I mean our company,” Gage grumbled under his breath. “This is a fucking shitstorm.”
He was right but no one I knew drove one, including any of the board members. That left a huge hole in my scenario. Had someone been trying to use her against me? Had they been planning on kidnapping her? Had she triggered some alarm system when she’d opened the file? My father’s laptop had been connected to the network, which was the one thing he’d either forgotten about or he hadn’t comprehended anyone could hack into the system.
