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“No, Garin.” Sazahk sent him a bemused and somewhat exasperated look. “I enjoyed every aspect of our consensual sexual intercourse. You were the one that said you didn’t want to have sex again, not me.”
Garin flushed, torn between being incredibly pleased that Sazahk had enjoyed himself, and incredibly peeved that their lack of future sex was being blamed on him. It was true that he didn’t want to have sex again, but only because he also wanted kisses. “But you just said you don’t want me to touch your hair.”
“That is an entirely separate discussion.” Sazahk finally stopped and turned to him, his face scrunched in confusion. “No, I don’t want you sitting behind me and fussing over me for the better part of an hour. That is not related to my feelings on you pulling my hair during intercourse. Does that make sense?”
Well, when he put it like that. Sex: acceptable. Casual intimacy: unacceptable. Garin looked away. He supposed he could have figured that out on his own without causing a scene about it. “Yes, that makes sense.”
“Alright then. Please let me know if you require any further clarification.” Sazahk turned on his heel and continued on.
How did he do that? How did he make things seem so cut and dry and logical when Garin knew in his gut that they were more complicated than that? Garin did require further explanation, but at this rate, he was pretty sure it wouldn’t come from Sazahk.
Chapter Eleven
It took two days for them to escape the caves.
By the end of the first day, they’d left the mycelium behind, and the last Fauna A had sat down and watched them disappear into the gloom. Garin wouldn’t admit to how many times he’d looked over his shoulder to see if it was still watching, his heart a tiny bit heavier each time. He’d never had a pet—he’d never seen the appeal of yet another thing to take care of—but the cute little creature cocking its head after them with its sad eyes made him think maybe he understood the appeal of a dog.
They spent the night sharing a sleeping bag as stiffly and awkwardly as they had the first time. More so, even. And with even less conversation. The silence between them wasn’t exactly tense, but it wasn’t comfortable either.
The second day they spent climbing through the type of cave Garin was more used to. Lots of rocks. No weird fungi. They belly-crawled out into the fresh air as the sun kissed the horizon.
“Oh god, does a sky look good after that.” Garin put his hands on his hips and arched his back to stare up at the great, gorgeous expanse of pinks and oranges fading into a deep, dark blue already dusted with stars.
“The presence of a breeze is also welcome.” Sazahk wiped the dirt off his forehead and looked around. “Which way to the compound?”
“Southeast.” Garin pointed with his chin. “We’ve already looped past the area with all the geothermal activity, so we should have a relatively safe straight shot back.”
“How long?”
“About three days.”
“Good.”
“But we’re not starting in the dark,” Garin added when Sazahk made a move to start walking.
Sazahk pouted, though Garin doubted he’d admit that was the expression. “You said it’s safe.”
“I said relatively safe, and that was with the assumption it would be during daylight hours.” Garin led the way to the flat top of a knoll and pretended he didn’t hear Sazahk’s teeth grinding behind him.
The man was impatient as hell, but at least he didn’t fight Garin at every point like he had when they’d set out. He didn’t talk to Garin much at all. It was like he’d already moved on. Like he was already back at the compound and their time together was over.
There were no more questions.
That was what hurt, Garin realized as they set up camp. At some point, Sazahk had become curious about him. Asking him why he was body shy, why he didn’t have tattoos, hell, even watching silly videos from his family with him. He’d found Garin interesting, and worth being interested in.
And now Sazahk couldn’t care less. Garin supposed he’d never been that interesting to begin with. Sazahk had probably exhausted all avenues of Kevin Garin that could hold the attention of a man like him.
They’d be back in the compound in three days, and Sazahk would saunter off to be brilliant and save the galaxy, and Garin would get over his infatuation and maybe buy Beaty a puppy once the boys went off to get real jobs. Real jobs that weren’t at the lab that had killed their father. Dammit. He still needed to talk to them about that.
Garin sat on the sleeping bag next to the fire, nibbling on a ration bar and feeling sorry for himself, when Sazahk dropped down in front of him, face serious. “I hurt your feelings.”
Garin’s eyebrows rose, but he lied quickly. “No, you didn’t.”
Sazahk sighed and two ribbons of pink and brown curled up his throat. “Yes, I did, Garin. You’ve had the same crease on your forehead since we left the disruptor rod. You’ve barely looked at me, you’ve only told me to be careful twice, and it takes few observational and even fewer social skills to identify the way you’re looking into that fire as melancholy.”
“I’m fine, Sazahk.” Garin couldn’t deny anything Sazahk had said, but he didn’t want to get into the details about his reasons. No one wanted to be on either side of an unrequited love confession. “Don’t worry about it.”
“You don’t know why I won’t let you touch my hair and you’re taking it personally.”
