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“Yeah.” Patrick pressed a kiss to the top of Fal’ran’s head. “It really was.”
Fal’ran hummed and settled more heavily against Patrick’s side.
They lay there for a few moments, time crawling on, catching their breath as the sweat cooled on their skin. Patrick made idle squiggles with the tips of his fingers along the grooves in the muscles of Fal’ran’s side.
“We gave Serihk a hell of a show,” Fal’ran said, and Patrick choked on his next breath.
“What? He wouldn’t have—” Patrick’s face heated as he considered the possibility. He’d heard the whole lecture about having no expectation of privacy aboard Emissary Serihk’s ship a couple of times, but…but there was a world of difference between Serihk having the ability to watch them and being an active voyeur. “—done that.”
“You don’t sound very sure.” Fal’ran poked Patrick’s ribs.
“I’m sure!” Patrick caught Fal’ran’s finger and rolled on top of him to keep him from jabbing him again. “And that’s the last I want to think of it.”
Fal’ran grinned up at him. “So, you’re a yes on some choking and slapping and a no on being watched. Got it.”
Patrick opened his mouth to confirm, then thought for a second more. He shrugged. “I’m a no on being watched by other people.”
Fal’ran raised his eyebrows. “But not on being watched by me?”
Patrick’s face, only recently cooled down, steamed again. “I mean, I don’t know what you’d want to watch me do, but…I think I’d be open to it.”
“Oh, I already know what I want to watch.” Fal’ran slid his hands down Patrick’s back and grabbed his ass in both hands.
Patrick’s breath caught and his cock twitched valiantly.
A sly smirk stole across Fal’ran’s lips as he spread Patrick’s cheeks. “I think you know, too.”
Patrick’s hole clenched at the implication and swallowed. “We’ll have to put that on the list for another time.”
“So, we’re getting another time?” Fal’ran’s eyes sharpened and locked onto Patrick’s.
Shit.
Patrick wasn’t ready for that conversation. Of course, he wanted another time. Of course, he did. And maybe they’d have another one. They certainly could have another one. Patrick would never kick Fal’ran from his bed. No matter what. Not in a million years. But there was more to it all than that.
Maybe Patrick was overcomplicating it. Even Serihk seemed to think so, though he never said it in so many words. But Patrick wanted to do this right. Impeccably. Above reproach. He couldn’t let Fal’ran, a young man with dazzling potential, tie himself to Patrick, an aging warrior turning his back on a game he’d never win without a fight.
So, even though he knew it wasn’t the answer Fal’ran wanted, Patrick dipped his head down and captured his soft lips. He kissed him sweetly, luxuriating in the press of Fal’ran’s tusks against his lips. When he pulled off, he kissed the tip of one sharp point. “Who knows what the future holds.”
He expected Fal’ran to snipe back about the dodged question. Instead, pain flickered through his gorgeous orange eyes, and his lips stayed shut. The fragile, stoic look almost made Patrick spill his guts. He almost laid it all out for Fal’ran, gave him his options, told him to choose, but…the words lodged behind Patrick’s ribcage.
He wasn’t ready.
For one, he hadn’t made every call and extracted every promise he needed.
And for another, what if Patrick gave Fal’ran his options, and he chose to leave?
What if instead of spending one last night with Fal’ran in his arms, safe in the delusion this might last forever, Patrick watched that fantastical future fall apart, and spent the rest of the night knowing with utter certainty it was their last?
No. No, Patrick couldn’t do it.
He kissed Fal’ran’s forehead and sat up, making a face when his foot touched a cold streak of cum across a pillow.
Fal’ran laughed, the warm sound clearing out the ice creeping into Patrick’s stomach. “My cum all over the sheets is a lot nicer in theory than in reality, isn’t it?”
Patrick snorted. “Something like that.” A thought occurred to him, and he hooked his hand around Fal’ran’s knee, pulling his thigh to the side. He drank in the sight of Fal’ran’s wrecked hole, and a grin spread across his face. “But my cum leaking out of your ass is just as nice as I thought.”
A rare blush rushed up Fal’ran’s throat as he gaped at him, and Patrick threw back his head with a full belly laugh. Fal’ran spluttered with laughter and kicked him in the shoulder. “You’re terrible.”
