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He’d see whatever Maxwell let him see, at least.
He knew the expression on Maxwell’s face. He tried to tell himself he didn’t as he closed the bar door shut behind him, but he did. He’d seen it on his father’s face the morning of that fucking day. Evaluating. Trying to decide how much Garrett knew, how much he guessed, and whether or not to come clean to him.
Garrett hadn’t known what it meant then. He’d sensed his father had been hiding something from him. Thinking back, he’d even sensed the guilt. But it had never occurred to him what it could mean, and then his brother had come down the stairs, and they’d already been running late, and Garrett had put his misgivings to the side until it was too late.
But he’d never made that mistake again.
“Garrett.”
Garrett turned to see Maxwell shutting the door behind him and walking down the dark alley toward him. “Maxwell.”
Maxwell slowed as he approached him and finally stopped close enough that Garrett could make out his facial expressions in the light of the moons glinting off the canals and the haphazard streetlights of the camp, but far enough that Garrett would have to lunge to reach him and the fact that he stopped out of arm’s reach felt like confirmation of Garrett’s worst fears.
Maxwell licked his lips. “Are you alright?”
Garrett’s lips twitched in a smile. Maxwell was concerned about things Garrett didn’t understand, but he was sure that at least some of that concern was genuinely for his own well-being. “I’m fine. I didn’t pick a fight. Just like I promised.”
Maxwell smiled back, and Garrett’s chest twisted to see it. “I wasn’t worried you would.”
“But you’re worried about something.” Garrett started to cross his arms but then realized how intimidating that would look and put his hands in his pockets instead.
Maxwell’s hands twitched. “What did you talk about with him?”
Garrett tried not to crumple. So there were secrets. He’d known that. He’d known that from the moment Kurt had arrived and Maxwell had run from him. He’d known it while he’d fucked Maxwell in that cockpit—the secrets between them had been way more of a barrier than the clothes Garrett had kept on.
He’d told himself that was okay. That it wasn’t any of his business and that it didn’t change the fact that Maxwell was a good man and that Garrett could help him. It didn’t change the fact that Garrett cared about him.
But the fact that Kurt had been hinting at something real and that whatever it was put the same look on Maxwell’s face that Garrett’s father had worn all those years ago made Garrett want to throw up.
He took a step back.
“Garrett.” Maxwell’s voice spiked with urgency, and he matched Garrett’s step back with a frantic one forward. He started to take another, but he stopped short. “What did he tell you?”
The look of fear on Maxwell’s face was too much for Garrett, and he shook his head. “Nothing. Whatever your secret is, Maxwell, he didn’t tell it to me.”
Maxwell either couldn’t or didn’t bother to hide his relief. His whole body released. His breath left him in a whoosh, and he dropped his gaze down to the ground. He nodded once, then a couple more times.
Garrett took a slow step forward, and when Maxwell didn’t bolt, he closed in. He cupped Maxwell’s face in his hands and turned it up to look at him. “I wish you would, though. You can trust me, Maxwell.”
Maxwell wrapped his fingers around Garrett’s wrists, holding him close instead of pushing him away. “I do trust you.”
Garrett didn’t know what hurt more, that this man he adored had a secret too terrible to speak or that this man he adored didn’t trust Garrett enough to tell it to him. Or to even admit that it was there.
Garrett stroked his thumbs over Maxwell’s cheekbones.
Goddammit.
He couldn’t turn his back on Maxwell, no matter how much it hurt or how tightly his stomach twisted.
He just couldn’t.
He leaned in enough to kiss Maxwell’s forehead. “Do you want to come back with me instead of sleeping on Leon and Sebastian’s floor?”
Maxwell huffed out a laugh that sounded more like himself. “So I can sleep on your floor instead?”
Garrett leaned back and gave Maxwell a crooked grin. “I think you know you wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor.”
Maxwell’s eyes lit up, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. His desire was real, at least. He clearly wanted Garrett for at least that. And Garrett had promised he’d give it to him any time he wanted. Maxwell tugged Garrett’s hands off his cheeks. “Let me go tell Sebastian. I’ll be right back.”
