Page 60 of Raze

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Page 60 of Raze

Ten years ago when I came home and found her in the state she was in, I thought I’d had my heart broken. She was the person I’d wanted to spend the rest of my life with and right there in that moment, I thought Cliff Adams had snatched all that away from me. I see it all so differently now.

I never really loved Stacey, how could I have when nothing I was or did for her was ever good enough? I was too preoccupied with being the man she wanted me to be, to realize that I was losing myself.

I have a beautiful girl at home, one who accepts me for everything I am. I hurt her today and I never took the chance to tell her that no one has ever come close to making me feel the way she does.

I waste no more time feeling sorry for myself. Instead, I march straight back to my bike and ride back to the club.

I use the side gate to the beach to avoid going through the clubhouse, heading straight for my hut and swinging open the door. Peyton’s sitting on the couch, reading a book and I take her completely off guard when I snatch it outta her hands, grab her face, and kiss her.

“I’m sorry.” I eventually pull back, seeing her wide, bright eyes staring back at me in shock. “I shoulda been honest with you. I shoulda made you feel more secure about me takin’ Stacey into my office, but honestly, I saw nothin’ in it because she means nothin’ to me,” I admit and when Peyton still has nothing to say, I realize I’m gonna have to give her more.

“She hurt me,” I admit, hating how weak that sounds. “I went to jail tryin’ to give her everythin’ and when I got out she’d changed. She was sleepin’ with Cliff and takin’ drugs, and I put the blame of all that on myself too. I let her hurt me and I hated myself for that, for so long. I didn’t want to admit that to ya, especially not at a time when we were so happy together.”

I can see her head thinking over what I just said but I still have no idea what she’s thinking.

“You called him a dumb-assed bird.” Are not the words I was expecting to hear from her after my confession.

“What?” I shake my head and check I heard her right.

“You called Reggie a dumb-assed bird,” she repeats, looking to where the raven is perched on the arm of the chair beside her, with his head raised. “You need to say sorry to him too.” She looks me dead in the eye as if she’s actually serious.

“Peyton?” I laugh at her.

“I mean it, you shouldn't have taken your anger out on him.” She proves she really is being serious when she folds her arms across her chest.

“You really want me to say sorry to the bird, don’t ya?” I look between them both wondering if I’m really about to apologize to a fuckin’ raven.

“Yes, Raze, I do.” She smiles curtly.

“Fine, I’m sorry.” I look at him and do as she asks, and his lack of response causes her to shake her head.

“He doesn’t believe you.”

“What…? Pey, you can’t be?—”

“Try using his name, it’s a little more personable,” she whispers, making me wanna spank her fuckin’ ass in frustration.

“Okay.” Staring back down at him, I fake a smile. “Reggie, I’m very sorry.” I look up at Peyton for her approval and when I see her shoulders shaking and her hand covering her mouth I realize I’ve been played.

“You…” I stand up and lift her over my shoulder, never minding the goddamn bird as I carry her over to the bed and dump her on the mattress.

“I can’t believe you just apologized to a bird. Now Alicia owes me $20.” She giggles as I hover over her body and think of all the ways I could get my revenge.

“You bet Alicia that you could make me apologize to your bird?” I cock my brow at her.

“No, but I bet her that I could get you talkin’ to him.” The clever smile on her face is irresistible.

“Yeah well, there's a lotta things I’d do for you that are unbelievable,” I tell her, wondering if there’s a limit. Something about her has me acting all outta character but I like the person I am when I’m around her. He laughs, he smiles, and he believes that good things might actually come from him being here.

I smother her with kisses and tickle the side of her stomach, right where her weak spot is, and just the sound of the laughter she makes has me falling even more in love with her.

“This is nice.” I position myself between Raze’s legs where he’s stretched out on the sun lounger enjoying the sun, then I lie back against his chest. He looks sexy as hell in just his swimming trunks and sunglasses, and I intend to take full advantage of the day he’s taken off to spend with me before he goes on his run tomorrow.

“And where did ya get this?” He snaps the strap of my bikini when he notices it’s new.

“I went shopping with Alicia yesterday, remember?” I point out. My confidence has grown over the past few weeks. Being Raze’s ‘old lady’ seems to come with a status that makes me feel protected. Alicia has been hanging around the club more often and everyone seems to have accepted me as Raze’s old lady, except of course the club whores who still hate me.

“It don’t leave a lot to the imagination, does it?” Raze points out, still going on about my new bikini.


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