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Chapter One
Cherry
What do women and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
“Just try it!” my best friend Jade whines. “What could you possibly have to lose? You’re practically a nun.”
“My dignity, maybe?” I counter.
Jade snorts, almost causing her mocha to fly out of her nose.
“You have no dignity, Cherry. Remember when we went out, and you ended up dancing on the bar in just your bra?”
“I blame you and the tequila for that. I was not at fault.” I groan.
“You chose to drink it. Come on, please do this; you need it. You haven’t been with anyone since Ronan,” she says, gracefully reminding me why I don’t date.
I don’t need a man; I haven’t for a long time. Not since I found my ex balls deep in my brother's ass.
Nothing quite like a coming-out affair. ‘Hey, I’m gay, and I’m fucking your brother!’
It’s fine. The sex was terrible anyway, and he had an unhealthy obsession with my chocolate starfish, which makes a lot more sense now that I think about it.
Jade crosses her tattooed arms over her chest, pushing her knockers practically up to her chin.
“Come on, Cherry, it’s just a few questions, and then you get a date, time, and place once they’ve reviewed your application. Then you’ll have a juicy hunk of man meat for a date with none of the small talk.” She raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow at me as if everything she’s saying makes sense.
“No, it just sounds like I’ll get kidnapped.”
“Salem isn’t the biggest place in the world, babe. If you got kidnapped, we’d find you pretty fast.”
I’m pouting, I know I am, but I can’t help it.
I don’t want any pickles near my meat flaps.
No, thank you.
“Please!” Jade begs, her eyes wide and her hands in the prayer position.
As if this bitch has ever prayed a day in her life. The only reason my best friend gets on her knees is to suck a man down like a vacuum, and she’s proud of it.
“I’ll help you. Just one little itty bitty date, and I’ll leave you alone.”
“Will you do it?” I ask her, not wanting to do this alone.
“Already have. I had a date last night, and when I tell you, this man was so fine. I’m turning this bench into a slip-and-slide just thinking about him and his pogo stick,” She moans, not a little one. Nope. A full-on sex moan comes from her blowjob lips, earning us a few glares from the other customers in the bistro.
“You are a vile woman,” I groan in exasperation.
If this girl hadn’t picked me out of my depression slump after the whole Ronan situation, I would have disowned the little nymphomaniac by now.
“And I will continue if you don’t at least try just answering the questions,” she says, a triumphant glint in her blue eyes.
She knows that I’m going to give in; I always do when it comes to her.
“Fine, oh my god, for the love of all that is unholy, stop before Jackson permanently bans us for your inappropriate behavior,” I plead.
