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My shoulders slump. “I didn’t know how to act. I thought you’d been with a bunch of girls, and I didn’t want to sound lame… or scare you off… I was trying to play it cool.”
He looks a little offended. “You thought I just slept around like that? That I’d ever do that with you?”
Well, when you put it like that…I wince. “I’m sorry. I was just—afraid.” I’ve regretted what I said that night every moment since I said it. That part I keep to myself. I’ve already given away enough tonight.
He nods, but he still looks hurt, angry, some combination of the above. “Well, it doesn’t matter now. Let’s just try to put the past behind us… maybe we can try being friends again?”
Friends. He wants to be friends. Something like disappointment settles on my shoulders, but I nod resolutely.
I can do friends. It’s the best I could hope for, honestly. I mean, there’s no chance he’d ever want me again, especially once he finds out that I lied… so friends, maybe that I can manage. “I’d like that.”
So what if my stomach clenches every time I see him? I’ll get over it.
CHAPTER 10
Nathan
It’s not until after Izzy and Rory leave that I notice Evan’s phone sitting forgotten on the kitchen counter. A crazy thought flashes through my mind. I picture myself grabbing the phone and searching through Evan’s text messages for mentions of my name and Rory’s.
What am I thinking? I’d never go through my friend’s phone. It’s just the thoughts in my head making me feel crazy.
I still can’t even bring myself to say my suspicions out loud, because the reality of that suspicion, if it’s true is just too huge to fathom. But it’s there, nagging at me in every thought I have of the dark-haired, dark-eyed little girl.
She’s mine.
I think I knew it the moment I saw her. Like there’s some chemical bond that I can feel. But why would Izzy lie to me? Why would she have kept my daughter a secret all of these years? And why can’t I bring myself to confront her about it?
What am I thinking? Izzy would never do that. She couldn’t.
Running a hand through my hair, I walk away from the phone, away from temptation. I go to the living room to pick up the controller, smiling at the thought of Rory giggling at the game.
The phone is still there when I walk back to the kitchen. It crosses my mind that I could text Izzy to come back for Evan’s phone, it’s not like she lives far away, but then, the doorbell rings.
Excitement stirs in my belly. Maybe Izzy came back on her own? Maybe she came to tell me that she’s as lost as I am. That she wants me. That she regrets losing touch for so long.
That Rory is… Christ, I can’t even bring myself to say it.
But it’s not Izzy.
“Hey, I think I left my phone.” Evan stands on the porch, hands in the pockets of his jeans, looking as laid back as ever. Does he know? How could he not?
I open the door wider, leaving it open behind me as I retreat to the kitchen. Evan follows me in. “You okay? Did Izzy and Rory get home okay?”
Don’t say it. Don’t say it.
I turn and lean my hips back against the counter, folding my arms across my chest as I face my oldest friend. “You and I are practically brothers, right, Ev? We don’t see each other as much these days, but that hasn’t changed. So, I need you to be honest with me. Right fucking now.”
He knows what this is about. I can tell by the way his fair skin blanches almost gray. He runs a hand down his face. “Oh, man.” He sighs. “Look, I told Izzy to talk to you about this… it wasn’t my place.”
So, that’s it, then?
That’s my answer.
I’m right. Rory is mine, and Evan has known all this time.
Evan knew… all this time… Evan knew.
The last seven years of my life flash before my eyes, as my jaw goes slack. “I’ve had a daughter… all these years?”
