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My head pounds with a million thoughts as I walk up to the bar, forcing myself to stay calm. I settle on a barstool next to Fiona, but I can almost feel my body shaking with emotion. He invited me to sit with them like we were best friends about to have brunch. Like he knows he got caught.
“Has it started raining yet?” Jay asks with a smile like he hasn’t just been canoodling with Fiona.
“No.” That’s the only answer I can come up with.
“It’ll start soon,” Fiona insists. She’s looking at the weather app on her phone. “The wind right now has gusts up to twenty miles an hour.”
To prove her point, something smacks against the side of the bar outside, making us all jump.
“I don’t know if we’ll have many customers. But thanks to both of you for showing up.”
Fiona’s smile feels genuine as she responds to Jay, saying something flirtatious about not having anywhere else to be. I just nod, because what can I say? I hate that I’m so sensitive, but it really hurt seeing Jay and Fiona so close and cuddly.
I thought we might be developing feelings for each other, but apparently, that was just on my end.
“I’m going to the bathroom before my shift starts,” I mumble, hurrying toward the back so I can have a few minutes to breathe and process what I saw. I imagine Fiona and Jay taking advantage of the time while I’m gone to get close again, and my stomach turns over.
I feel genuinely sick now.
“Why do you care?” I grumble to myself in the mirror. But I know the answer to that. It’s because sure, the sex is good, but that wasn’t why I agreed to the arrangement. It was because I want to spend more time with Jay—as much as possible.
But the agreement was stupid, and we clearly never should have made it. Especially if this is how I react the second Jay reminds me we’re not exclusive.
I feel completely lost and unsure how to handle things now. But the minutes are ticking by and I can’t hide out in the bathroom forever.
Finally, I take a deep breath and march back into the bar area. I’m surprised to find Jay alone. He’s behind the bar, moving some bottles around.
“Where’s Fiona?” I ask.
“Oh, she’s checking stock for me. I needed her to count a few things. Look, Vi, are you… okay?” Jay sounds almost scared to ask the question.
I settle onto the bar stool again, leaving the counter between us. It seems like a good barrier to have right now.
My elbows dig into the counter as I lower my voice, unable to hide my emotion. “I mean, it looked like you and Fiona were about to jump each other’s bones. Empty bar, romantic storm brewing outside, perfect setting.”
Jay raises his hands in a defensive gesture. His face reflects genuine surprise. “Hold on. That’s not what was happening.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean. She jumped at some thunder or something and kind of tripped back onto me. I promise you we weren’t touching or doing anything. At all.”
Jay’s eyes seem genuine, but I still feel hurt. I want to believe him, but I’ve been too trusting in the past, and it hasn’t gotten me far.
“Look, maybe we should clear something up. Does friends-with-benefits mean you’re screwing other people? Because I don’t want to risk getting an STD.”
“No, no!” Jay reaches across the counter toward me and takes my hand. I let him hold it, but I don’t reciprocate his touch. I don’t know how to feel right now. “Violet, I’m not sleeping with anyone else. I… the truth is I….”
But I don’t get to find out what the truth is.
The bell over the door sounds, and both of us whip around to see a customer stumbling in from the beginning of the storm. He smiles at all of us congenially.
“I wasn’t sure if you were open with the boarded up windows, but I saw a couple of cars, so I thought I would try. Wife threw me out… thought I’d spend a few hours here.”
I see Jay’s mood instantly shift as he becomes an “amazing bartender.” He gets the man his drink as I try to process what just happened.
Jay assured me it was nothing and that he’s only sleeping with me. He seemed completely genuine, but I’m still feeling all kinds of messed up.
I hop off the bar stool and head toward the kitchen, running smack into Fiona as she comes out.
