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Maybe this will save me. Maybe this will get my old Marcus back.
Don’t pretend you want to get rid of this one.
I shut the stupid voice up.
One step at a time.
“Fuck”—I open my mouth, gulping in water and the hot air of the night—“you.”
With those departing words, I let go. Let my arms and legs fall at my side. Close my eyes. Succumb to my fear.
My hair brushes across my face the lower I go. Pressure builds up in my ears. My lungs burn. I’m heavy. So heavy.
Down, down, down, my body goes. Diving into the darkness.
This isn’t as bad as I imagined it would be. And hey, at least I’ll die knowing I’ve done it on my own terms.
Liar. You trust him to come get you.
As if on cue, the water shakes around me. My pinched eyes snap open to find Marcus there.
He’s here to save me. Here to punish me, by the look on his face. Eyebrows furled together, black eyes shooting daggers at me.
He’s furious.
I’ve ruined his plan.
My anxiety isn’t as debilitating anymore. Now that I want to get back at him.
I hate him for everything he’s making me feel. I hate him for making me love his psycho side.
Fuck him. I’m going to ruin his plan some more.
I resist his grasp on my arm, shaking him off. I’m adamant to stay where I am.
When Marcus tugs on my arm again, I open my mouth, letting the air out and water in. The burn in my lungs intensifies. I’m choking. Dying.
He’ll save you.
He’ll also have this image etched into his memory the next time he even thinks about being a dick to me.
A part of me loves him. And a part of me hates myself for loving him.
But no part of me is a doormat.
Eventually, my vision blurs, and my body grows heavy. My resistance wanes and Marcus is able to drag me up.
Head out of the water, he flattens the front of my body to his. I cough, spitting out water. Strands of my hair are glued to my eyes.
“So stubborn.” He wades backward with me in his arms, hauling me up and onto the floor.
“So asshole.” What I’m saying doesn’t make sense. Then again, what fucking part of this situation does?
None.
More water comes out of my mouth as I cough, and I rub my sore throat. Marcus shakes his head, climbing out of the water to sit beside me. I almost choke again when a hint of amusement curves his lips up.
“This funny to you?”
