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Instead, I grab my phone from the end table at my other side, open the food delivery app, and order us pizza.
That’s the friendly thing to do.
The only thing I can do.
I was right to assume Rylan needed to talk boys.
Once her dad went up to his study—holding the organic takeover container from the order I placed yesterday—she started gushing over Milo Bauer.
I smiled when she explained in great detail how it only made sense that he hadn’t made a move until now. His pre-med school had been intense. He didn’t have time for a serious relationship. This year, though, he’d have more time. This year, he’d ask her out.
Having to sit there, nod, and lie to my best friend was pure torture. My chest constricted and my mouth dried. My body was burdened by the bitter truth.
Pre-med and school, my ass.
Milo hadn’t been preoccupied with school.
It’d been me that stopped him from asking Ry out.
I became aware of his unwanted feelings one day during our junior year in high school. Milo dragged me into an empty classroom. Admitted that he was in love with me. Wanted to marry me.
The answer I gave Milo was a definite no.
As handsome as he was with his blond, perfectly styled hair and bright blue eyes, Milo Bauer had never been the one for me. My heart had been beating for another man for years. I refused to settle for anyone else.
I also refused to betray my best friend. She’d been in love with Milo for as long as I’d been crushing over her dad. I’d always choose her over Milo. Over anyone.
He said he’d never stop trying, and I got mad. I told him I wouldn’t change my mind. Threatened him not to try to get to me through Rylan. Said that if he’d try, I’d never speak to him again. That it’d embarrass me to tell both him and Ry I wasn’t into him again and again.
Granted, it was an excuse. I didn’t tell him she was in love with him. She’d made me swear I wouldn’t say a word, and I kept my mouth shut.
Ever since, both Milo and I continued exactly like this. He’d chased me. Applied to the same college Ry and I had. Cornered me and begged to give him a chance every other month.
No, Milo, were the two words I’d been repeating.
I hadn’t stopped there. I’d done everything to push Ry in another guy’s direction. She was gorgeous and her smile was mesmerizing. Men and boys alike chased her.
She always had her sights set on freaking Milo, who treats her like nothing more than a friend. At least he doesn’t lead her on.
That’s the heavy burden I carry with me every day. This bitter truth.
Thankfully, I don’t have to lie anymore tonight. Rylan snuck out about an hour ago.
And I get to have a few stolen moments with him.
Dr. Kingston.
Just the mention of his name in my head has wetness pooling between my thighs.
This late at night, my inhibitions tend to lower. My subconscious becomes a demanding voice in my head.
I’m able to tell myself things I’d never dare to admit to myself in broad daylight.
My crush on Marcus isn’t a crush.
What I feel for him is an obsession.
Which is the force that pushes me off Ry’s bed, like I have many times in the past four years.
