AllFreeNovel
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My lips are dry, and I lick them as I contemplate what he said.
“Same as you’re nervous now,” he fills in. “You were upset with me, but you worried I might be mad or disappointed as a reaction to your unhappiness.”
The first person to care to dive deeper than my laughter and sometimes sarcastic remarks. Of course, it had to be him.
I want to cry. I don’t. A smile forces itself on my lips instead. One shoulder shrugs. “Sure.”
“Sure won’t work for me.” Creases form on his forehead, his head tilts. “You interest me, Leighton. This is a safe space for you.”
He ignores my raised eyebrow. Purposefully blind to the challenge in it. I begged him to teach me to love whatever craziness we’ve been sucked into.
He doesn’t believe I resent him for kidnapping me. Deep down, I don’t either. Not one bit.
“I’ll need you to elaborate.”
“Okay, fine. I hate crying around other people.” I bite my bottom lip. “Most of the world has it worse than I do. I’m strong. I can take it. Even this kidnapping, these things you’ve done to me…I wouldn’t say it’s awful. Even after…”
No. Too personal. Too painful.
“I haven’t cried around anyone since I was a baby and now you.”
Marcus doesn’t push. His eyes narrow. The way he studies me has a layer of ice coating my veins and my heart pumping blood faster simultaneously.
This isn’t the first time he’s probed inside my head. I can’t say it gets any easier. I also can’t let him go there.
I have to evade. Have to give him something.
I take a detour around the part of my life that hurts the worst. The part that had me crying myself to sleep for weeks. When Ry was asleep and no one was there to hear me.
I don’t want it here, between us.
What I’m offering him hurts almost as bad. But the look in Marcus’s gaze tells me he won’t let me off the hook without anything other than the truth.
So, I put a wall up and just say it. “Do you remember my Golden Retriever, Bear?”
His untouchable veneer tells me he won’t answer as Marcus. He’s making it hard for me. Making me tell him everything, hoping it’ll break something in me.
Sadist.
Images of my first and best friend run through my mind. How his huge tongue would lave at my face like I was his child instead of my parents’. How he’d freeze when I hugged him too tight. How he’d let me do it anyway.
“He was such a good boy.” My nose feels hot. Annoyance grips me as my vision becomes blurry.
A fracture cracks Marcus’s tough exterior. He doesn’t demand me to hurry up. Doesn’t ask what this has to do with anything.
He hands me a tissue. An expression of his—or the shrink’s, whatever—compassion without making this weird. My heart clenches.
Words barrel out of my throat, telling the story of the grief I’ve kept to myself until now.
“Thank you.” I dab the tissue beneath my eyes. “He wasn’t just good. He was the best boy.”
“You felt free around him,” Marcus deducts. “To be yourself. He offered you unconditional love.”
He couldn’t have been more on point if he tried. What’s more, he doesn’t ask if Rylan wasn’t enough. He simply accepts my crushing pain for what it is.
The knot around my lungs tightens, pushing out a sob.
“He did.” More tears cascade down my cheeks. “I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I was eight, still thinking he’d be around forever.”
