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I haven’t eaten much today, I got quite the workout last night, and I’m surviving on two nights with little sleep. I deserve some damn breadsticks.
“So you skipped out on your work event to show up here?” I ask around a mouthful of bread. “Sorry,” I say, pointing to my mouth. “I’m starving.”
He looks like he’s judging me for talking with my mouth full. Was he always this…straightlaced? Judgmental? Irritating?
Am I the one being judgmental, or did I overlook it because I was in love?
I’m starting to think the latter. I was wearing those old rose-colored glasses, but they’ve been firmly removed, and now I can see him clearly.
Were we ever a good match? Or did I just want a relationship so badly that I sacrificed what I deserved?
His brows dip as if he’s nearly offended by my question. “I didn’t skip out on anything. I did what I had to do, and then I took a flight out here to see you. I fly back tomorrow morning, so I literally came just to have dinner with you tonight. I wanted you to see that I care about you. I showed up for you.”
“Spending an exorbitant amount of money for a plane ride for one dinner seems…” Unlike Colin.
He did show up. He’s trying.
But all the trying in the world wouldn’t be enough to win me back. Not after the night I had last night. Not after I saw a peek of what I could have—of what I deserve.
And I don’t just mean the sex.
I mean…the cup of tea.
The blanket.
The talking.
The view.
The man.
Feeling like I matter all the time, not just when our entire relationship is at stake.
I realize it was one night, and it was the night we met. I get it. He might not be the same person on our second date, or our third, or in a year from now. Or ten years from now.
It doesn’t matter. It’s who he was last night, and it was enough to know I deserve more than what I’ve had for the last five years with Colin.
My new life mission is going to be landing what I deserve instead of settling for what feels comfortable.
It might’ve just been one night, but it was enough to tell me it’s what I want for my future. People don’t change, and getting back together with Colin after one last-ditch effort to win me back just isn’t an option. He’ll talk a big game. He’ll even put in the effort for a week or two, maybe even a month, and then we’ll land right back where we were.
It’s not the place where I want to be ever again.
I deserve more.
“I know,” he says quietly as I never quite finish my sentence. “It’s not me. So I hope you can see this is me trying to prove how much you mean to me, Ava.”
Too little, too late.
How do I say that nicely?
“I appreciate the effort.” I’m about to add that I’m sticking firmly to my decision to end things when he jumps in before I can.
“See? I knew you’d come around.”
“No, Colin,” I say firmly. “This isn’t me coming around. I deserve more than you’ve given me.”
“Then I will do what it takes to win you back.”
