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“Let’s get you inside,” I said as she shivered. “Come on. Up you go.”
She stood up carefully, and then I followed suit. I grabbed the log from the sidewalk and took it inside, allowing her to go first.
I set the log down on the pile that I had built beside the small fireplace before turning to her. She stood in the lobby of the lodge, almost unsure of what to say or do now.
“Luke… that kiss…”
“Please, you don’t have to say anything,” I said softly. “Actually, there’s some stuff I’ve been wanting to tell you. I-I… it’s been bugging me since Mr. Wilson arrived, and now that he is in town for the morning, I have the chance to finally say it without him giving me the death glare.”
Laurel looked taken aback, but she nodded slowly. She did sit down in one of the lounging chairs in the lobby. I remained standing, mainly so that I could leave immediately if needed, but I hoped that I wouldn’t have to do that.
“Laurel Pennington, I know that we’ve only known each other for a few weeks, but I can’t help the feelings I have growing inside for you,” I started. “Laurel, I have come to care for you far more than I have cared for anyone. I know that I don’t always have the best composure, nor do I always have the best way with words, but I think there’s something serious going on here.”
“Luke…”
Her cheeks turned red once more, even darker than they had been when we had kissed outside just now. I didn’t know what to expect, but her speechlessness made me wonder if I had overstepped my boundaries.
“You don’t have to tell me anything about how you feel or what you want right now,” I continued. “I just… I needed to get that off my chest while Mark is away from the lodge. He has no right to treat you the way he does. He doesn’t respect you, and he obviously doesn’t love you. If he thinks showing up here and belittling you into accepting a proposal is love, then he’s not just stupid, but dangerous. I know this isn’t any of my business, but I can’t just stand by and watch him treat you like this. You don’t owe me anything. You don’t even need to listen to me. But I care about you, Laurel, and I couldn’t just watch him make you feel like less than the wonderful woman you are..”
I pulled my coat closer to my body before clearing my throat. I let a moment of silence fall, hoping Laurel would say something. She just sat there, her mouth slightly open.
“And with that off my chest, if you’ll excuse me, I have more logs to bring in. We’re pitifully low in here, and with that one now soaked, I need to make sure we have more than one log in here.”
Laurel stuttered as I left the room, as if she had had something she wanted to say but just couldn’t get it out of her mouth quickly enough. Or her brain wasn’t working quickly enough to get it all put together so that she could say it before I left the room.
I didn’t need to hear anything about how Mr. Wilson was ticking all the right boxes for trying to get back with her. I also didn’t want to hear anything more about how he was winning her over. If that was all true, then Mr. Wilson deserved her. I would wish them a happy marriage and do my best to move on.
When I reached the log pile in the back of the lodge, just out of sight from the kitchen window, I went to pick up the log and realized my vision had blurred over. Now that Laurel couldn’t see me, tears were running freely down my face.
“I’m going to lose her…”
The way she had looked so uncomfortable while I had been talking told me that much. I hadn’t wanted to make her feel that way, but now that I had put my feelings out there, there was no way to take them back. Even if I wanted to. I’d have to live with what I had done, no matter how uncomfortable it was or if it meant that I had to find another chef this season so that Laurel could return to Chicago with Mr. Wilson.
I quietly hoped that she wouldn’t, but I couldn’t stop the tears.
Leaning against the pile of logs that we had cut down over the summer last year, I let it all out. Nothing had broken me this much – not even Sarah. since Sarah had decided that it wasn’t worth trying to change my mind or following me to Lejeune, and Having part of you that would never stop loving someone hurt far worse than a bad fall on the ice.
No matter what Laurel did after this, I didn’t think I would ever forget her blue eyes or her quick wit or her sass when she was upset.
Another cold wind blew, and I sniffled. This was not the time nor the place to be wallowing in self-pity, and if nothing else, at least this would serve to give me a good place to start on my next song because boy were the emotions strong on this one.
I took in a few more logs as I tried to hide the fact that I had been crying. Laurel had removed herself from the lobby, so it was only Rick I was hiding it from. By the time Mr. Wilson arrived back, I hoped that I would at least look as if I hadn’t been sobbing my heart out.
Lunchtime came around, and Mr. Wilson was nowhere to be found. Laurel had made up a few sandwiches and left them in the small refrigerated case we’d installed for just that purpose. I grabbed one, not wanting to make any more of a scene than I already had.
Once my lunch was finished, I returned to my room. I picked up my guitar from the stand and pulled out some fresh music sheets to start writing another song. If I couldn’t get her off my mind, then she deserved to influence a song – though at this point, I would argue that she had been the influence for more than one now.
I started to play around with the chords and settled on the key of D-minor. It was the saddest of all, some said, and I had to agree with that assessment today. There was nothing sadder than a good minor chord progression, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. Perhaps it was because I worried that I had messed everything up with Laurel.
I allowed the music to carry me away. The song’s lyrics had to feature bright blue eyes drowning someone’s sorrows, as that was something I noticed prominently happening every time I looked into her eyes.
It felt as if I couldn’t breathe, but that wasn’t my problem any longer.
Chapter twenty-three
Laurel
I sat stunned in the lobby for a few minutes. That kiss with Luke had felt so natural. In fact, so natural that I had almost wondered if Mark had anything left to offer me. He clearly didn’t listen to me like Luke did now, and even Luke had enough sense about him to know that there was no reason to prolong the awkward situation brought about by my inability to gather my thoughts immediately after we had come inside.
