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“What? No! I’m not,” I say, the denial escaping me so quickly it sounds blatantly fake. I pause a moment, take a breather, and then add, “I swear, I’m not. I just… I don’t know, got caught up in the moment.”
“Right, right. You got caught up in the moment and then fell on him. Or did he fall on you? Over and over—”
I squeeze my eyes shut and groan. “You’re lucky you’re not here, Max, because I’d slap the shit out of you for that.” What is brotherly-sisterly love if not infused with threats of violence when the other person is being dumb?
Max chuckles, but not soon after he laughs does he become serious. “All jokes aside, getting involved with him is a bad idea. You’re smart enough to know that. Even if you and I weren’t his prisoners, it’d be asking for trouble. As it is now, it’s a dangerous game. What if you do something that pisses him off and he decides it’ll be easier to kill us both?”
“I know that,” I growl out the words. “Trust me, I know. I don’t love the man, okay? He’s just… attractive. Very, very attractive.” Even as I say it, I’m aware of how lame I sound.
“Uh-huh.” My brother is clearly not convinced. “Just be careful, okay? Try not to bump uglies with him anymore. Remember what Mrs. Miller said in health class in high school? That Jesus is always in the room, watching? It’s like that, only instead of Jesus, I’m there.”
Ugh. Thinking of Max anytime Silus and I are getting too hot and heavy is a surefire way to ruin the mood—which is exactly what my brother wants.
“Although, now that I’m thinking about it, how could Mrs. Miller talk about Jesus while she was teaching in a public school?” Max mutters this question mainly to himself as he rubs his chin, lost in thought. Hey, at least he’s not thinking about Silus and I, to use his words, bumping uglies.
God, I could kill my brother sometimes, I swear.
I hate to cut our chats short—beyond Max, the only person I talk to is Silus, and we all know how that goes—but I’m still pretty freaked out over what Max said, so I tell him, “I have to go, Max.”
“What? Already? Come on, you’re the only one keeping me sane—”
“We’ll talk tomorrow.” Before Max can beg me to stay on, I grab the nearby remote and shut the TV off, also cutting our connection.
Now that silence permeates the room, I’m alone with my thoughts… and the memory of what Max suggested. It’s a ridiculous notion, isn’t it? There’s no freaking way I could possibly be falling in love with Silus McLean.
No.
Although…
Hell no.
But then how would I explain the fact that Silus has seemingly taken up permanent residence in my head lately? And the sex—God, the sex is enough to make all logic fly out of the window. The man is the opposite of greedy when it comes to pleasure; if he comes, he makes damn sure I come, too. Over and over and over.
I groan and bring my hands to my face, asking aloud, “What the hell is wrong with me? Are you stupid, Thea? Enjoying the sex is fine but falling in love? Snap out of it, girl. Your brother’s right. Nothing good can come from falling in love with Silus fucking McLean—”
The guy in question must have supernatural hearing, because the next thing I know, he’s knocking at the door, and all I can think is: oh, no. I don’t want to see his face right now, not when I’m wrestling with these particular feelings. So, before he can fully open the door, I lunge off the bed and sprint toward the door.
I don’t look at his face; I look at his chest, at the black tie around his neck. If I look at his face, I might get too weak. “I need some time alone” is what I tell him, and then I shut the door.
Yep. I shut the door right in Silus’s face before I think better of it.
“Thea,” Silus speaks from the other side. “What’s going on?”
I stand there, head leaning against the door, staring at the floor as I mutter, “I just want to be left alone right now, okay?” If I sound annoyed and exasperated, that’s because I am. Leave it to my brother to get in my head about something I never really thought of… something that, as much as I don’t want to admit it, might be true.
Fuck me. How messed up is that?
I push away from the door and collapse, face-first, down onto my bed as all the reasons why it’s a dumb idea to have any sort of feelings for Silus McLean bounce around in my head.
Even if I ignore the fact that he’s at least ten years older than me—maybe even more like twelve or thirteen—he’s a goddamned mafia boss, and I’m just a normal girl with visions of grandeur. How we met aside, his world is way different than mine. People know his face, know his name; people want to kill him. It’d be a constant battle of wondering if he’s going to get tired of me and kill me or if someone in the city will do it instead.
And all that says nothing about the whole falling in love with your kidnapper thing. I mean, jeez, talk about stupid and cliché. How much more pathetic could I be?
Silus, being the man he is, doesn’t give me time alone. He slowly pushes inside the room, and he must spot me on the bed—face-down, my calves and feet hanging off the side of the mattress thanks to the angle I fell. He walks over to the bed, measured in sitting down beside me. I can hear him breathing, and I know his black gaze is on me, but I refuse to roll over and look at him. I won’t do it. Not when I’m currently wrestling with this crap.
“Is everything okay?” Silus asks me. “Did something happen between you and your brother?”
“No,” I speak into the bed, my voice muffled. “Everything is fine. Why do you ask?” In addition to the muffled state of my voice, I also sound incredibly monotone, like I’m trying my hardest to be impenetrable.
