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“Oh, maybe I should go work there.” She looks at her nails like it isn’t a big deal.
“Maybe not,” I reply flatly.
She looks away from her nails and I see the amusement in her eyes. “Why?”
“Because I’m not doing a long-distance relationship and Beck would lose his shit without me here. You ready?” I say, not giving her a chance to refute that she and I are in a relationship.
As much pull as I have, everyone who dines at The Landry does, so demanding a private room the day before we were set to arrive was next to impossible. We are still in a more secluded area but it’s not the private room I’d hoped for that would have made it acceptable for Marissa to sit in my lap.
“You’re staring,” she says just as she takes a sip of her champagne.
“You’re gorgeous,” I respond without missing a beat.
She doesn’t say anything but I watch the goosebumps pop up all over her skin and I love how much I affect her. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“How come you didn’t try to contact me after?” I’ll admit that’s not what I thought she was going to ask. “I mean even just to explain that you weren’t available.” She blinks at me. “You kind of made me feel like shit. Like I’d done something wrong or…wasn’t good.”
“Trust me, that wasn’t it,” I tell her immediately. “You were perfect. I’d never had a night like that.” I rub my mouth, dragging a finger over my bottom lip. “I jack off thinking about it daily.”
She gasps. “Daily?”
“Sometimes multiple times in one day.” I reach across the table and grab her hand. “I’m sorry, I did that.”
She nods but then raises her eyebrows as if to say, Well?
“You freaked me out a little. How you felt. How we felt. It was the first time it had ever been like that for me.”
“Me too.”
“I’d never slept with anyone that made me question what the fuck I was doing still married.” I pause, wanting to clarify. “Make no mistake, I question it daily, but no woman had ever made me think I was missing anything by not being single.” I sigh. “I didn’t know how to tell you that.”
“So, you just ghosted me?” I go to protest when she holds a hand out. “If you say ‘I left a note,’ I swear to god…”
“Well, I did,” I murmur. “And I saw the room service bill, so I know you saw it.”
“I should have ordered more.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, you should have.” She doesn’t say anything else so I continue. “It’s going to take some time,” I tell her. “To…get out. I’m just asking that you be patient and have some faith in me. I’m not going to fuck you over.”
“Isn’t that what all men tell their mistresses?”
I know the comment is meant to be a dig even if it’s the truth. “Alright, I let the first one slide. Don’t call yourself that. What happened to not liking that word?”
“I can not like it and still know that’s what I am.” Sadness mars her features and I hate that I’ve contributed to putting it there.
“You’re not.”
She cocks a head to the side and raises her eyebrows. “Oh?”
“Fine, if we are going by Webster’s dictionary definition fine. But I’d like to think of you as the woman I’m preparing to walk through hell for.”
She purses her lips. “Maybe I’m overstepping, but…is it really all about the money? I mean, I don’t have any experience with your level of wealth but even if I weren’t in the picture making you question all your life choices, would it really be worth it? Stay with her and be miserable in favor of a higher bank balance?” I hate how she makes it sound like it should be easy. That I shouldn’t want to live a life of misery in favor of more money. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I know you work really hard—”
“You’re right.” I can’t stop my heart from pounding at the thought that her views on money are unbelievably different than Holly’s. I give her a sad smile. “Damn, I wish I’d waited for you.”
“You want to go upstairs? There’s a heated rooftop bar. Or if there’s something else you’d like to do, tell me.” Chris gets up from the table and holds his hand out for me.
