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I become completely silent, giving in to every simpering whisper of pleasure as it zips down my spine and makes my entire body convulse.
As my orgasm fades, I tug the blindfold from my face.
Eldrion looks up at me, and smiles.
It is more of a smirk, and it makes me want to slap him. But even as I want to push him away, I find myself reaching for him and pulling him up towards me.
He does not ask me to touch him or seem like he expects it. Instead, he positions himself behind me. I move away, but he wraps his arms around my waist and tugs me towards him. For a moment, I feel the burning need to get up and run. But then he kisses my shoulder, and yawns, and it feels so painfully normal and right and good that I yawn too.
I nudge backwards, and hold on to his arms as he curls around me.
I do not remember falling asleep. But I remember I felt the safest I had ever felt. And I remember feeling too tired to be guilty for it.
SIXTEEN
Rosalie
Isit at the ornate dressing table, staring blankly at my reflection. The woman looking back at me is a stranger – hollow-eyed, pale, sadness etched into every line of her face.
Is this really what I’ve become?
My fingers trace the edge of the drawer where I keep the torn pieces of Kayan’s portrait. Even now, I can’t bring myself to look at them. The pain is too raw, too fresh.
He is gone. The words echo in my mind, a cruel mantra that won’t let me rest. Kayan is gone, and I never got to say goodbye.
I close my eyes, trying to block out the opulent bedroom that has become my gilded cage. Instead, I let my mind drift back to happier times, to the day Kayan first told me he loved me.
It was a warm summer afternoon, the kind where the air shimmers with heat. We were by the lake, our usual spot when we needed to escape the watchful eyes of the village. Kayan was skipping stones across the water’s surface, each one jumping farther than the last.
“Show off,” I teased, nudging him with my shoulder.
He turned to me, grinning that lopsided smile that always made my heart skip a beat. “Jealous of my superior stone-skipping skills?”
I rolled my eyes, trying to hide my smile. “Oh yes, I’m absolutely green with envy. However will I go on, knowing I can’t skip a stone as far as the great Kayan?”
He laughed, the sound echoing across the water. Then, suddenly, his expression grew serious. He took my hand, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through me.
“Rosalie,” he said, his voice soft. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
I remember the way my heart raced, the mix of excitement and fear that flooded through me. “What is it?”
He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving mine. “I love you.”
Three simple words, but they changed everything. I stood there, stunned, unable to speak.
Kayan’s face fell, and he started to pull away. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have?—”
I cut him off, throwing my arms around him and kissing him with everything I had. When we finally broke apart, both breathless, I whispered, “I love you too.”
The memory fades, and I’m back in the present, tears streaming down my face. I wipe them away angrily. What good are tears now? They won’t bring Kayan back. They won’t free me from this nightmare.
I stand abruptly, needing to move, to do something, anything to distract myself from the ache in my chest. I pace the room, my fingers trailing over the expensive furnishings. All of it meaningless, all of it a mockery of the life I should have had with Kayan.
A wave of fury washes over me. This isn’t fair. None of this is fair. Kayan should be here, alive and well. We should be together, building a life. How did we go from dancing in the forest to this?
Fire blooms in my palms. For a moment, I’m tempted to let them grow, to watch as they consume this gilded prison.
But no. I can’t. Not yet.
