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“Is that a flaw?”
“No, it’s a fact. You might think you want me, but in reality, I’m way, way down the list of things you care about.” She dropped her hand from his chest. “That’s another fact.”
He could only stare at her because in theory, she was right. He had his work, his business deals, his family. These were the only things he had ever cared about, and that approach had served him well, all his adult life.
“I didn’t expect to care about you,” he admitted. “But I do.”
An emotion sparked in her eyes that he didn’t understand. Disbelief? Hope? He shook his head impatiently.
“It’s not enough.”
“What do you want from me?” he asked, dragging a hand through his hair.
“Nothing you could ever give me.”
“What is it?”
“I need a guarantee.”
“A guarantee of what?”
She shook her head, and the smile on her face was ghostly, full of self-mockery. “That you’ll never lie to me. That you’ll never betray me. That I won’t get hurt by being with you. And even if you could promise me any of those things, I wouldn’t believe you.”
“Only a liar would make that promise,” he said thickly. “Because life is unpredictable and uncertain, and I can promise one thing today that might not prove true in a year’s time. But I can show you who I am, and what I’m capable of, and not capable of. You know me, Maddie. You know me—beyond the property transaction, and my dedication to this company, my family—you know me. Do you think I would ever hurt you?”
Her lips parted on a rush of breath. “I—don’t know. And it’s not a risk I’m willing to take.”
The sentence had started with ambivalence but finished with determination, and as if to underscore it, she took a step backward.
He was losing her; perhaps he’d never really had her. Not if she was speaking the truth. If she was incapable of trusting him, because of her past, and unwilling to forgive him because of the purchase of her grandfather’s house. It was all against him and always had been.
“Tell me why.” He had no choice but to accept her decision, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t entitled to an explanation.
“I’ve told you?—,”
“No. Tell me what happened with your ex.”
Her eyes widened with surprise.
“He’s the reason you’re refusing to give this a chance, isn’t he?”
She toyed with the stem of her champagne flute, fingers running up and down the length.
“This was always just a fling,” she reminded him. “We got caught up, but it doesn’t change?—,”
“Everything’s changed. That’s fact,” he snapped, then made a visible effort to calm down. “Tell me what happened with the two of you.”
He could tell she didn’t want to. He could see the rejection on her features, which were pinched tight, in her eyes, that were awash with grief and panic. And then she turned as if to walk away, and he was faced with the choice of letting her go or going after her. He chose the former.
When he was growing up, his grandmother had kept a little book of quotes in the kitchen, and one in particular had always resonated with him. It was about setting something you care about free, to determine by their own free will if they will return or not. He’d memorized the words but never really understood them, until this moment. He cared about Maddie, he cared about having her in his life, but he wasn’t going to try to force her to stay. How could he?
And then, like a bolt of lightning, an idea careened into him. An idea that fundamentally skewered the wisdom he’d just been ruminating on, and yet, wasn’t it a way to give them both what they wanted? He wasn’t ready to end this, but neither was he willing to throw away a lifetime of certainty that he would never get married. He wanted more time with Maddie, but not a lifetime. And he knew she wanted him, too. She just needed to know that it was safe for her. Transactional, almost. A businesslike quality to their personal life, so she knew she wouldn’t be destroyed as she was with her ex.
He had an answer; a way to give them both what they needed. Adrenaline fired in his blood. He ignored what he would be throwing away financially and focused only on this moment. Here. Now. Maddie.
“Give me one month, Maddison, and I’ll tear up the contract.”
Her back went ramrod straight; she didn’t turn to look at him. The words were out there now; there was no taking them back. No stopping to question the wisdom of what he’d just said.
