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“Sleeping together,” she murmured. “It doesn’t mean anything, remember?”
He’d said that to her. He’d certainly believed it, right at the beginning. He’d thought Maddie would be another easy-to-forget woman to take to his bed and then move on from. He’d thought sleeping together would scratch an itch, easy as that.
“Right,” he nodded slowly, even as her words burned through him like acid. “And you don’t want to sleep with me anymore?”
Her eyes lifted to his, her lower lip tremulous. Damn it, she looked so uncertain. Could she really doubt the strength of their connection? At least when it came to sex? That much was damned obvious.
“We can’t.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“No,” she shook her head, but lifted a hand to his chest, her fingers touching him, so lightly it was almost painful because he wanted her to touch him properly. “The answer is that I want to sleep with you. That I don’t know if I’ll ever stop wanting to sleep with you, and that scares the hell out of me, Rocco. It terrifies me. Do you know how many times I saw my mom make this mistake? How many times I saw her lose her head to some guy who was all wrong for her in so many ways? Nothing good comes from this. Nothing.”
His eyes probed hers, but he saw only fear in their depths—fear, and the absolute conviction that she believed she was right.
“That’s different.”
“Was it?” She scoffed. “How?”
“For one thing, you’re not going to lose your head to me. I’m talking about seeing each other—casually. I’m not asking you to marry me.”
She flinched then, and he realized it was the wrong thing to say.
“Neither of us wants that, right?”
Her eyes latched to his and, for some reason, the breath caught in Rocco’s throat, so his lungs wouldn’t inflate properly.
“Maddie?” His voice was stern, demanding an answer.
She shook her head quickly. “I used to think—,” she bit into her lower lip. “Once upon a time, I was desperate to get married and have kids. I wanted a family of my own, so I’d always have a place in this world, in someone’s heart. But then—,” her voice trailed off into nothing. It didn’t matter; she didn’t need to say it for Rocco to understand.
“Your ex.”
Her eyes flicked to his. “Brock, was his name.”
Rocco hated the other man already.
“Everything I’d ever thought about men, about trusting men, about how stupid it is to let someone into your heart, was underscored by my experience with him.”
“This isn’t about your heart,” he promised, trying to make this safe for her.
“Which just goes to show how little you know me, Rocco. If you think I’m capable of sleeping with someone like you for any period of time and not thinking myself in love, then I must be a total stranger to you.”
It was like staring at her through one of those odd carnival mirrors, designed to bend the whole world out of shape. Her words were coming to him from such a great distance. He needed to understand, even when he wasn’t sure he wanted to. “Are you saying you’re in love with me?”
She rolled her eyes, visibly frustrated. “No. I’m saying that if we keep seeing each other, I’ll fall in love with you, and I don’t want to take that risk. I don’t trust you,” she whispered, then grimaced. “It’s not your fault. I don’t trust anyone, anymore. But you…you least of all.”
It was spectacularly unfair. “What have I ever done to jeopardise your trust?” he asked, nostrils flaring as he stared down at her.
Her expression was heavy. “Nothing,” she said, shaking her head. “And everything.”
“You’re speaking in riddles.”
“You’ve always been honest with me, so far as I know, but you’re still the guy who pulled my life apart at the seams.”
“That was never about you,” he slashed a hand through the air. “If I had met you before all this, I wouldn’t have bought the houses. Is that what you want to hear? That I wish I could go back and do it all over? But I can’t. I’m too far down the road. It’s not just my money and time, it’s the company’s—my family’s. It’s everything I’ve worked for—and they’re counting on me.”
“Your work means everything to you.”
