Page 20 of Memories of You


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The ocean’s vastness welcomed me, and I found comfort in the rhythmic creak of the mast and the whisper of the hull slicing through the water. Setting a southeasterly course, I allowed the beauty of the scene to wash over me. Moments like these reminded me why I’d returned to this small town, to the simplicity and honest truth of nature. I sat down on the padded seat behind the wheel and opened my reusable water bottle to down a long drink. Then the sound of my phone ringing jarred the silence. I picked it up mid-drink and froze. Mom flashed across my home screen.

I had some personal rules, and always answering her calls was one now that we were on speaking terms again. I swiped to answer. “Hi, Mom. How’s it going?”

“We’re fine. It’s so good to hear your voice again.” Her voice on the other end of the line was soft and filled with longing. “I’ve missed you so much. How are you getting along?”

I smiled as I glanced out at the ocean, its waves shimmering in the golden light. “I’m doing all right. Settling in well, and I’m even winning over a lot of Dr. Nelson’s old patients. I’m happy here.”

“I’m glad to hear that, and I understand why you left Michigan.” There was a momentary pause, as if she was considering her next words carefully. “I’m sorry I drove you away. I never should have pushed you and Ainsley together. Neither should Maggie. I’m even sorrier it took me so long to realize that.”

Maggie Booth was Mom’s best friend and Ainsley’s mother. After we’d moved to where our family had roots in Michigan, the two women became convinced that Ainsley and I would make the perfect pair. They were wrong. Unfortunately, she and I spent years together before realizing we were doomed as a couple. Years I regretted with every fiber of my being. I rubbed my eyes, trying to ward off the unpleasant memories.

“It’s all in the past now, Mom,” I assured her gently, my fingers tracing the intricate patterns etched into the wooden console. “I’m where I’m supposed to be.”

“Have you seen Stella?” Her voice was deceptively calm and even.

“Yes, Mom. I’ve seen her.” Skipping any mention of the clinic debacle, I recounted how we ran into each other at the farmer’s market and that she’d realized her dream of becoming head chef at Orchid.

“Sounds like you two had a nice reunion.”

“It was very… careful. I’m not sure anything will come from it.”

“I won’t pry. But if you two are meant to be together after all these years, you’ll find a way.”

A smile raised my lips. “Thanks, Mom. I’d better get going. I’m sailing right now and headed toward Cuba.”

That made her laugh. “That won’t do! I don’t speak Spanish, you know. Good night. I love you.”

“Love you too.” I ended the call and set my phone on the console as I changed course to head north. Despite my quip about Cuba, I hadn’t wandered too far offshore.

I put my parents and our unsettled history out of my mind. I was finally out on my boat, and I meant to enjoy the experience fully. The wind was light and fickle, but I didn’t mind as I traveled in a counterclockwise circle around Dove Key. With a canvas of stars winking to life above, the bow of the boat cut a solitary figure ahead. I gripped the wheel, feeling the gentle rock of the vessel beneath me, a rhythmic dance I’d thought would be enough. Tonight, it felt like the ocean itself was taunting me with its vast emptiness, mirroring my hollowness inside.

Though surrounded by beauty, I was completely alone.

Stella’s laughter echoed in my memory, as clear as if she were right there beside me. We’d been kids, barefoot and carefree, and our futures open and limitless. But as much as I tried, I couldn’t hold onto the past. It slipped through my fingers like grains of regret.

I’d been a stupid kid, too scared to stand up for what mattered. I thought back to those college days, how I’d let my mother’s expectations chart my course, too afraid to admit that her dreams weren’t mine. My parents had given up their home and careers here in the Keys to give me my dream. They paid for every textbook, every late-night study session, and in return, I’d given them the son they wanted.

All while losing the woman I loved.

And the man I wanted to be.

Stella’s young face appeared in my mind, her flashing dark eyes and glossy hair. Her mischievous smile. That smile had been a solace to me over the years. Through the difficult times of medical school and residency. Through stormy relationships and breakups. Especially Ainsley.

I imagined Stella next to me, her hair whipping around in the sea breeze. Despite Mom’s assurances after moving to Michigan, my relationship with her hadn’t been some teenage infatuation. Even after I cowed to my parents’ demands to move on, the years hadn’t dimmed my feelings for her. With Ainsley, everything had felt forced, like I was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

Can’t compare apples and stars.

“Dr. Mitchell, taking over old Dr. Nelson’s practice,” I murmured, mocking myself. “And half of it’s because she’s here.”

It was a truth I’d skirted around. But out here, on the open water, there was nowhere to hide. At the farmer’s market, Stella had been beautiful, her hair falling over her shoulders. I took solace from the much more pleasant conversation we’d had. And her bare left hand. Which of course didn’t mean she wasn’t involved with anyone. But if she were, wouldn’t she have shut me down flat? As I rounded the southwest corner of Dove Key, I gazed across the water toward the mysterious dark shape of Calypso Key.

Once again, my course steered me back to Stella.

Turning the bow east once more, I headed toward the marina and lowered the sail. With another silent prayer, I turned the key. The engine started again, and I slowly motored through the narrow cut separating the two islands. My gaze fixed on the wild mangroves of Calypso Key, their gnarled roots holding tight to the earth amidst the changing tides. It felt symbolic, how something could remain so steadfast through the ebb and flow. The two islands rose on either side of me, and soon Calypso Causeway arched overhead, connecting the two as I traveled beneath, unnoticed.

Uncertainty loomed as large as the silhouette of the Big House atop the bluff, just the peak of its roof visible, but hope flickered inside me. A decision of sorts had formed. I couldn’t make Stella forgive me, but I could make her understand I wasn’t the same boy who left the island nearly fifteen years ago. I just needed to figure out how to explain it to her. I guided the boat into its slip and tied off the lines with steady hands. After one final look, I stepped down into the cabin, my heart beating a rhythm that spoke of new beginnings.

The next day, I sat in my office, dictating my note for the patient I’d just seen. My office was in a corner of the clinic, with windows on two sides that overlooked a side street and the parking lot. Not the most picturesque perhaps, but private. My business phone rang from the front desk, and I picked up. “What’s up, Susan?”

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