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“Shh, don’t cry. Things will get better.”
I whimpered and continued to cry until I was hiccupping. If my employees could see me now, it would prove what they’d been saying all along. I wasn’t fit to head Fox Asset Corporation.
I wondered what they would say when they found out I wasn’t turning the company back over to Oliver when he got well. I knew it would be a while until that happened but I’m sure they would say I was a heartless bitch especially when it got out that I wanted a divorce.
Despite what Ty said, things would get worse before they would get better, and I had to keep it all inside until Oliver was well. Ty held me tightly in his arms until I calmed then he let me go and looked down at my face.
“I can’t do this. I’m a fraud.” I pressed my hands against my temples, feeling the pressure build. “Every day I go to work afraid it’s all going to come out.”
Ty leaned forward; concern etched on his face. “Oliver never should have put you in charge. You’re still new to all this.”
“He wanted someone he trusted,” I said, my voice wavering. “Someone who would have a vested interest in a company he put hard work and love into building.”
Ty sighed, shaking his head. “I think you should see a therapist. You need to get this out. You’ve bottled it all inside.”
“I don’t want to talk to a therapist,” I snapped. “I had enough of that when I was a child.”
“And they helped,” Ty insisted gently.
“No, they didn’t,” I countered, my voice growing louder. “I went because I was six and didn’t talk at the time. I was in shock after seeing my father killed. Sometimes I wish I was the one who shot Caruso.”
“You wouldn’t want that on your conscience, no matter how big a piece of shit he was,” Ty said, his eyes darkening.
“I would,” I said fiercely. “I would’ve avenged my father’s death. I lost a whole year of my life and many nights to bad dreams that I still have.”
“You still have nightmares?” Ty asked, his voice softening.
“Sometimes, only they’re different now.”
“Different how?” he asked, leaning closer.
This was the first time I would tell someone outside of those who were on Fox Island what happened and what I saw. I would never tell my family or friends.
“I’m on the island, and instead of my father, it’s both my father and Oliver,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “My head is fucked up. I saw Trevor bleed to death and Raphael die in front of my eyes, even though he deserved it. I watched Oliver fade before my eyes. I was coated with his blood. I won’t forget that, no matter how much therapy I have. If you know a therapist who can shut off my head, let me know.”
Ty reached out, taking my hands in his. “It’s not a matter of shutting off your head, that will never happen. It’s learning to deal with what happened.”
“I don’t want to deal with it. I want it to go away.”
I turned and got the scotch from the cabinet, filling the tumbler I washed after my bath.
He chastised me. “That’s what you’re going to do? Drink?”
I shrugged. “Yes. It dulls the pain.”
“Shit, Ryleigh, you need to talk to someone.”
I smiled to disarm him. “I am, you.”
“I can’t help you like you need. Do you want me to stay?”
“No. What I need from you, you won’t give. I’ll be fine.”
I took a sip of scotch and when I put the glass down, he kissed me on the forehead.
“I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
I sighed, following him to the door. “I’ll be busy most of the day. I have a few meetings and a conference call. I might not be home until late.”
