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Today was also the day I'd chosen to tell her about the child she's carrying. I'm not quite sure why I'd chosen to do it here, but somehow I thought it was best to do it while she was still surrounded by doctors.
We were dressed and ready to go. She'd been given her walking papers and the car was waiting to take us to the airfield, now was as good a time as any. I had her sit on my lap while I tried to get my thoughts together.
I don’t know why it was so hard to get the words out. Will she be happy? Pissed, what? I don’t think she realized that what we were doing could lead to this. Her innocence was astounding.
"Blossom, baby there's something I have to tell you." I felt her body tense up under my hand.
"No-no baby, it's something good, at least I hope it is?” For fuck sake Gideon just say it. “You're pregnant."
I held my breath and waited. She just looked at me as if I'd spoken a foreign language, then she collapsed against me as if all the air had been knocked out of her body.
She started to tremble and shake and scared the fuck outta me. "What's up baby? What's going on? Talk to me." She clutched the lapels of my jacket in fear.
"I'm going to die Gideon, please don't let me die." My heart clenched in torment, the anguish in her voice…fuck.
"Baby...no you're not, why would you think such a thing?"
"Children kill their mothers." Fuck you Cliff Sanders, you just earned yourself another moment of torture before I put a bullet through your black fucking heart. There was no doubt in my mind that he was behind this new terror.
What the fuck did you do to her you fuck? I calmed my racing heart by taking deep breaths and held her closer because she’d started to shake uncontrollably.
The murderous rage will have to wait, revenge will have to wait she needed me now and I hope like fuck I knew how to do this.
"Blossom, baby that's just not true, look at me, you didn't kill your mother."
"I was too happy, you made me happy now I have to die, he was right."
"No baby he wasn't, he lied to you your whole life. Look at me...Ashley look at me." She turned almost dead eyes my way and tore the heart from my chest.
Keep it in check Thorpe, don't lose it now, later yes, but right now she needs you to be rational.
"You did not kill your mother, children do not kill their mothers, if that were true my mother would be dead and so would all the mothers of your classmates.
I kept my voice even and light even though it was killing me to just sit there and not run and find his ass and end him for this. Even this he’d stolen from her the fuck.
"But…it's true, it has to be. He said if I was ever happy I would die. I've never been happy before and now I am for the first time and I'm going to die."
Her body was a block of ice but I refused to let her go into shock, which seemed to be where she was headed. How much more could she take?
What other bullshit was she carrying around in her head that he’d put there over the years? I’d been so cocky thinking that I could undo the damage he’d done. I had no idea of the true extent of this man’s evil.
Death was too good for him I needed him to suffer. Death is final, he’s not getting off that easy this motherfucker is gonna bleed.
"Baby please I'm begging you, please listen to me. I know you had nothing to do with your mom dying but the proof is at home."
She looked at me disbelievingly. I took a deep breath, what I was about to say was all kinds of fucked up but I had to shake her the fuck out of this fugue she'd gone into. That bastard had done a real good job of convincing her of this bullshit. I’m going to take great pleasure in fucking his shit up.
Any qualms I might've had were vanquished completely by this. He was no longer human to me, not that he'd been much of one to begin with, but this,thiswas beyond fucked up.
To convince your only child, a young beautiful girl, that if she found happiness in life she would perish that. Just…fuck.
So now I'm left with the unenviable task of trying to shock her out of this way of thinking. I was so not looking forward to this shit but she needed a wakeup call and she needed it quick.
"Do you want to have an abortion?" I wanted to burn off my tongue as soon as the words left my mouth. She jerked as if I'd punched her.
"What, no, what...Gideon...how could you?" She tried to get off my lap but I held her tight."Blossom be calm, I don't want you to have one either but if you believe our child will kill you then there's no way I'm going to let that happen."
"But it's just an innocent baby."
