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"Look just tell me whatever it is you have to say, I'm a big girl,Ican take it."
So you say, but I know better. The pristine Ms. Halston who's ever vaunted in the gossip rags as the epitome of social grace can throw a temper tantrum like none I'd ever seen. Of course with me she's all that is sweet but I've heard the stories, though she's always been careful to keep that side hidden from me. I don't tolerate that sort of behavior in anyone.
"Okay then, I think we should call it quits." What the fuck she wants to do this now? No skin off my nose.
"You...." Here we go I gave up my morning fix for this shit? I knew she’d be gone already by the time I got back to the window the sidewalk was only but so fucking long.
"How could you just decide that with no warning, nothing? You didn't even discuss it with me first."
"Lynn you knew this day was coming, you knew we weren't going anywhere. We both used each other to fill a need, it's over, and just so you know I'm not doing this drama bullshit with you. You wanted me to tell you now instead of later. There you have it."
"Who is she?"
I hung up the phone, yes I'm a cold bastard, never said any different. No one questions me.
I never once lied to her, never led her on or made her believe that we would ever be anything more than what we had been.
The second my feelings changed I distanced myself. I just wanted to do things in a more humane way. Maybe I should've just ended it that first day when I realized where my thoughts were leading me.
This shit was going to turn over a whole lot of fucking apple carts, but I've never been one to let convention stand in my way.
She was a seventeen-year old girl I'm nine years older, that too was a small matter when weighed against what she could mean to me. I had a lot to think about but at least now one hurdle had been cleared.
With Lynn out of the picture I was now free to make my move. I knew she would no longer be standing there across the street but I still headed for the window staring at the place I'd last seen her.
"I'm coming for you little one." The decision has been made, before long I will have her. Maybe then my heart will stop beating the hell out of my chest.
Ashley
Every day I wished to see him again the guy with the crazy hair but to no avail, only that one time and then nothing since then. He had the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen; even from the distance I’d seen the lightness of them. I’ve dreamt of him every night since that first day. Just one glance and he had captured me.
I walk slower when I reach the place where I'd got that first glimpse of him. My heart races every time as I wonder if today will be the day. I know it's just a silly little girl's dream, something that will never be, but it's the only light in my otherwise bleak world.
I want to cry when I don't see him but I'm stronger than that so I hold back the tears. Maybe one day I'll see him from afar and I can relive the joy of the moment as I do now.
I sometimes feel a prickling sensation just when I reach this very spot but I know I’m just being fanciful. Things like that don’t happen in real life and they certainly don’t happen to girls like me.
I pushed aside the wave of sadness that threatened to overpower me as I hurried my steps. Didn’t want to be late getting to school, I didn’t have a good enough excuse for my tardiness and that was an added headache I did not need.
Besides I didn’t want anything marring this one thing that was mine and mine alone. As long as it remained my secret no one could take it from me. The thought warmed my heart just a little, it was a poor substitute for the real thing but it was all I had and I will treasure it for as long as the memory stayed fresh.
Gideon
I'm watching my girl again, it's three days later. Things with Lynn have been squared away thank heaven. We never lived together so there was no moving out to be done nothing to be hashed out and fought over.
She’d tried that leaving stuff at my place shit more than once over the last two years but I always made sure she took them with her the next time she came over.
She was never too happy about the situation but I never wanted that much of her. I’m not ashamed of what we had, I’m a man with needs and we both scratched an itch for each other when it suited both of us.
I never used or abused her in anyway and had no need to feel guilt for breaking things off. It would’ve been more dishonorable to have had carried on dragged things out when in my heart I knew it was over.
Enough about her, I don't have to give her a second thought, now I can focus all my energy on my baby girl. I have to strategize and plan the way I do with everything, though this would be the first time I’d ever approached a woman in this way.
I’m usually the hunted not the hunter but in this case I feel compelled almost to go after her. Because of her age I’m taking every precaution, if I have to approach her parents first that can be arranged and hopefully they didn’t try to play hardball because the way I’m feeling there’s nothing that will stand in my way.
Our first meeting has to go off without a hitch I want it to be perfect. I have to learn all her habits so I would know where and when to make my approach. I hope it doesn't take too long for my team to find out what I need to know.
Each day it gets harder and harder to hold off but I like to know all the players in the game. If her parents are going to prove difficult I have to know everything before going in.
