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“I do,” she said in a low voice. “I’m just not sure how much I can tell you without…without causing a problem.”
“What kind of problem?” Thrax demanded. “Andi, please—I feel like I’m going crazy! Just fucking tell me.”
“Okay, but first give me your blaster.” She held out her hand expectantly.
Thoroughly confused now, Thrax gave it to her. Andi checked it and then put it in the nightstand drawer and locked it. She tucked the key into the pocket of her jeans and then turned to face him again.
“All right, listen. Our last mission was to Salacious Delta and there really was swamp gas there they called ‘the Fume’—that part is true. We went there to rescue Commander Kier, who had been kidnapped and taken to a ‘milking farm’ where they were harvesting his seed. But the mission itself triggered some bad memories for you and you were really upset.”
“Like how upset?” Thrax asked skeptically.
“So upset I was afraid you’d hurt yourself,” Andi said and the worry in her big brown eyes made his heart fist in his chest.
“Okay…so that’s why we did the Cleansing Ceremony?” he asked.
She nodded.
“The priestess said that you needed a ‘Deep Healing—she said someone who loves and cares about you had to go into your mind and alter some of your memories to help heal your trauma.”
“So you went into my mind and altered my memories?” Thrax demanded.
Andi nodded again.
“That about sums it up. Look, I know it sounds crazy, but it was the only way to heal you. I’m sorry if it makes you feel violated—I promise I didn’t look at all your memories—just the ones that needed to be changed to help you heal.”
Thrax shook his head. He was still trying to process what she’d told him. The idea of his partner going into his mind and changing his memories was so strange. Andi normally wouldn’t do something like that—she believed strongly that everyone deserved their personal space and never pushed or pried at him when he wanted to keep something to himself.
“I must have been really fucked up for you to go into my head,” he said at last.
“Like I said, I was afraid you would hurt yourself.” Andi looked at him earnestly.
“Is that why you insisted on locking up my blaster?” He gestured at the locked drawer and she nodded.
“Yes—exactly.”
“Okay…” Thrax took a deep breath. “So our last mission triggered me—though I guess I’m not supposed to ask how—and when we got back you took me to the priestesses to do the Cleansing Ceremony where you changed my memories.”
Andi nodded.
“Yes, that’s what happened.”
“That all makes sense—in a fucked-up kind of way,” Thrax said. “But when you were changing my memories, why did you give me such hot images of yourself? I mean, I know you and I are just friends and partners but I keep having these dreams and thoughts that are so fucking sexual…” He shook his head, half embarrassed/half defiant. “I know I shouldn’t think this way about you, but I can’t seem to help myself!”
“Well…that’s probably my fault.” Andi nibbled her lower lip. “See, the priestess told me to heal you in any way you needed to be healed. Emotionally, physically, or, uh, sexually.”
Thrax’s eyebrows shot up.
“You thought I needed sexual healing?”
“You did—I swear I wasn’t just taking advantage of you!” Andi was starting to look really upset. “I only gave you what I thought you needed. And it seemed to work. I mean, you’re back to normal now. You’re happy—well, as happy as you ever get—and I don’t have to worry about your hurting yourself.”
Thrax frowned.
“Okay. I’m still having trouble figuring out what’s a dream and what’s a memory though. Because I seem to have some fuzzy memories of our mission where we’re doing the same kinds of things that we are in my dreams. What’s that all about? Was the sex we had all in my mind or was some of it for real, too?”
“Oh, well…” Andi’s cheeks went bright pink again and she looked down at her hands.
Thrax put a finger under her chin and lifted it until their eyes met.
