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He’s pulling out on me, yes, and it hurts, yes, and we had a magical thing going, yes.
But… he’s pulling out on me before the big fall. The one that crushes you. Steals your breath as well as your joy, leaving you sobbing into your pillow for weeks.
I’ve grown up. I’ve learned from my mistakes. I’ve learned what happens when you jump, feet and a savings account first. When you’re in over your head.
You get hurt. Bad. The kind of hurt that leaves you broke, broken, and brokenhearted…
That leaves you meeting a stranger. One who buys you a pregnancy test.
He’s right. Instantly, I put on my shell of protection, agreeing with him. “You’re right. Work. Of course. That all makes perfect sense.”
And it does. To my mind.
But my heart and other warmer, wetter areas completely disagree with me.
And deep, deep down, buried where I try not to find it, a little ache pops up its head, like the tiny green bud of a plant, reaching its way through the soil it loosened.
I’m disappointed. And hurt. I feel rejected.
Maybe… he wants to keep it professional because he never really liked me at all.
But as the days passed, I began to realize he was right. This way no one gets hurt. His breaking up with me was the best thing he could have done.
Because now that it’s over, I’m sure of one thing.
I was falling in love with him.
And if you don’t fall, you don’t risk being broken into pieces.
CHAPTER 19
Rockwell
The call waiting for me at the Mark Hotel was Eli. He’s found out who the sedan belongs to. And I don’t know how to tell her when it’s time.
Due to security issues, I’m not allowed to share any information about the car that’s been watching her apartment. Although keeping this huge secret from her is unsettling for her own safety, I’d never do anything to put her in harm’s way.
For the first time in my life, I’m struggling to concentrate at work.
Also, I’m rethinking sending my sister with Lily shopping for business casual clothes.
I swear the outfits get sexier every day.
Ever since she asked the engagement ring question, I’ve cooled things down between us. The weight of her head against my chest, her soft breaths coming steady and relaxed, the scent of her filling my senses, it was too much. After punishing her and then her falling asleep in my arms, I had to put space between us or risk getting hurt again.
Risk… everything… by falling for her.
It’s been two weeks of business chat at work, polite conversation at home, and her sleeping in my room while I’ve taken the sofa. I want her safe, so she’ll be staying at my house until all loose ends with her ex are wrapped up.
Then?
I guess she’ll move on. And my life will be the same. No pain.
But no Lily.
It’s difficult living like this, but it’s safe.
Professional at work. Friendly at home. Separate cars. No touching.
