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“And you’re not mine, either!”
We stand there for a few moments seething in a prideful pissing match while our world burns around us. I don’t want to, but my mind immediately goes to Dakota. Even though I knew she was putting on a brave front—most likely for Addie—she was scared. She may be able to fake it for her friend, but she can’t with me.
I also know she wanted me to follow her to the shelter, but I can’t. I can’t keep her and the farm safe and at least with her the next town over away from the fires, I know she’s protected. Scared, but safe.
“What about Dakota?” he asks, visibly calmer, but knowing him, he’s anything but.
“What about her? She’s got to be safe at the evacuation site by now.”
“You know that’s not what I mean.” He crosses his arms over his chest, glaring at me.
“She’ll be fine.”
He doesn’t say anything. Instead, he just stands there, saying wordlessly that he doesn’t believe me.
“She’s better off this way, Wyatt.”
“And what the fuck does that mean?” And there’s his temper again.
“It means that she’s better off without me!” I yell, throwing my arms open wide.
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
“You know what? I can’t do this right now. I need you to do what I say. You’re the only one I trust.” And I don’t just mean with the cattle. Of anyone I know, he’s the one that I trust to keep Dakota safe if I can’t be the one to do it.
“And what about you?”
“I can’t leave the rest of the cattle and the land here alone to burn. I need to do what I can to save it. Either we leave now, or we don’t have a hope to save anything.” I look behind me, seeing the orange of the fire getting closer. I won’t have his life hanging in the balance with mine. He has parents and siblings that rely on him. Care for him. He needs to make it out more than I do. “Go. Make sure your family is safe and at the shelter.”
“Dammit!” Wyatt takes off his hat and turns his back to me for a moment before rushing and engulfing me in a hug. It’s so unlike him; I just stand there with my arms to the side until he slaps my back and pulls away. We haven’t hugged since we were kids. We’ve punched each other when one of us went too far, or slapped each other on the back as a way to say well done, but hug? Never.
“Don’t do anything stupid,” he says before stepping back, putting his hat back on his head. Without another glance, he runs to the truck and starts it up, pulling away with the trailer of the most valuable cattle I own.
I don’t waste time thinking about what the fuck just happened. I can’t, especially with how he was acting, like he wouldn’t see me again.
Which very well may be the case if I don’t get my ass out of here.
Loading a cart with as much feed and water as I can, I hook it up to Duke’s harness and give him a pat as I survey the barn to see if there’s anything else I’ll need. Grabbing a buck knife, I place it in its leather sheath and shove it in my jacket pocket before mounting Duke.
Moving on borrowed time, Duke and I heard the cattle slower than normal. Our zig-zag direction bogged down by the cart and the thickening air. The smoke gets heavier and heavier the longer we move. The bandana around my mouth has lost its dampness, and now just smothers me with every breath I take. I push through, guiding Duke as we make our way to the farthest corner of my land, praying that this will be enough to save us all.
After what seems like hours, I manage to drive the remaining cattle into the open land in the corner of the property. It’s not enough to save us completely, but it’s the closest thing to a firebreak that I have, and there’s a fence that will at least keep the cattle contained on one side.
Jumping down from Duke, I look over the land and am mostly happy that all animals seem oblivious to the danger that surrounds them.
I, on the other hand, am not.
The bright orange of the flames tear through the trees quickly, lighting up the darkened sky. Looking up, the normally star-filled sky is hazed over with the smoke, blocking out all of the sight that normally brought me so much peace. No matter what happened during the day, sitting on the back porch with a whiskey in the rocking chair always seemed to calm my nerves. It was the only way that I could truly wind down at the end of the day.
It’s something like that, that I should have told Dakota when she asked me to tell her something no one knows about me. Not that I hate fucking ice cream. Which I do, but it was such a trivial answer compared to everything I could have told her.
Like how I love the way her eyes shine in the sunlight, or the way her body feels against mine. I even love the way her hand just fits perfectly in mine, too.
There are more practical things, like I do actually like food other than steak. No one knows that I can make a pretty mean lasagna. I’ve never even let Wyatt know about that.
Now that I’m left here with nothing but my thoughts, I realize how stupid I was to not let her in. I thought the part of me I had given her was enough, and maybe it is for her now, but it’s not enough for me. I see that now. Faced with the reality that I might not actually make it out of here tonight, I know that what we have is a fraction of what we could have had. Now that I’ve had a taste of it, I want more. I want it all with Dakota.
Opening my eyes, I turn and unhook the cart from Duke but leave his harness on, in case there’s any chance the two of us need to make a run for it. I get to work on setting up the water in rations for the cows, making sure they drink it all before the night is through. I do the best I can to set up camp while keeping an eye on the herd, making sure none of them stray off or get spooked by the flames and run.
