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Terror flows through me at the thought of Nico in danger.
I’ve heard a lot about the fight-or-flight instinct. In that moment, my only instinct is to kill. My eyes scan for any weapon I can use to this end, and then they land on Scarface’s gun. I don’t even think. I don’t blink. I just take it, and then I fire.
I also don’t miss. All I can think as he falls down, is that the color of his hair matches the color of his blood. So much blood. I stand up and turn around to see that Nico’s just dispatching the men he was fighting. There’s a crazed expression in his eyes as he takes in the scene in front of him.
He can’t know I just killed someone to protect him.
“It was self-defense,” I lie. My voice is shaky as I trying to control my breathing. “He was going to shoot me!”
“I know. I know, mi vida. Just drop the gun, okay? I’m here,” Nico says, his voice calm and controlled.
He approaches me slowly, reaching me in less than ten steps. I don’t lower the gun until he’s standing in front of me. His blue eyes are the only thing grounding me to reality in this moment.
“Let it go, Aurora,” he whispers.
I finally do, my grip loosening from around the gun. He takes it out of my hand and tosses it to the floor before pulling me into his chest.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry, mi vida,” he says, expelling a harsh breath. I don’t know who is shaking more—me or him. “I never should have let this happen to you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.”
I let Nico continue to hold me for as long as he likes. Through it all, I stay silent, trying to compartmentalize my emotions. I tell myself that it’s over. I killed someone and now I have to live with that. But I don’t have to continue living the same life that brought me to this point. A wall starts to build around my heart, and I lock every feeling of fear and guilt behind it because now I know what I have to do.
Nico holds me to his chest like I’m the most important thing in the world. What he doesn’t understand is that I became a monster today.
I became a monster because I love him.
When we get home, I’m taken to my room and given sleeping pills. I pass out from exhaustion or stress, I don’t know. When I wake up again, it’s dark and Nico’s in the room with me, seated on a chair at my bedside. He gets to his feet as soon as I open my eyes, the sight of him filling my vision.
“Hey, mi vida. How do you feel?”
How do I feel? I think I’m still in shock. I manage to sit up, my eyes roaming around the room.
“Where’s Lucia?” I ask groggily.
“She’s safe. She’s in her room, resting. Thankfully, her head injury wasn’t serious,” he quickly assures me. “Now, answer my question. How do you feel?’
“I’m fine,” I lie, trying to look anywhere but into his eyes.
“Aurora,” he says in a low tone. “You need to talk to me. Tell me what you want me to do.”
“I just…” I hesitate before saying softly, “I need to be alone. Can you just leave me alone for a while?”
I can tell he wants to fight me on this, but he must see something in my expression that makes him back off.
“Just let me know when you’re ready to talk,” he says with a nod before leaning forward to press a kiss to my forehead.
And for one second, I want so badly to talk to him, to let him comfort me. I know Nico’s capable of chasing all of my demons away. But I shouldn’t be allowed to evade them, should I? I killed someone. I didn’t even think twice about it.
Nico’s about to walk out of the room when he seems to reconsider, turning around and taking off the locket around his neck. My heart skips a beat.
“Here, wear this,” he says, holding it out for me. I think he can tell that I’m pulling away.
This is his attempt at stopping me, because he knows me so well. Just like I know him.
I shake my head. “I can’t, Nico. I can’t take that away from you.”
“Aurora, I want you to have it.”
“No, I can’t. I’m sorry,” I tell him, feeling my heart breaking in my chest.
