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Her expression tightens at that, and I hate that I have to bring up her father, but I need her to understand where I’m coming from.
“When you had that crush on that guy in your science class, who listened to you talk about him for hours on end? I mean it drove me fucking crazy, but I listened,” I continue.
She shoots me a disbelieving look. “You threatened to go to my school and beat him up if I didn’t stop talking about him.”
“That was after you had driven me damn near to the brink. I hated hearing you talk about another guy like that.”
“It was nothing. I don’t even remember him anymore,” she reassures me.
I nod. “Good. But that’s not the point. I was right by your side when you wanted to sneak off to that dumb concert when you were sixteen, late at night. If we had been caught, your father would have killed me. I didn’t even like that boy band, but I did it for you. Also, you might not know this, but that night was the first time I realized I had feelings for you. You looked so beautiful singing all those cheesy love songs with this wide smile on your face. I’d never seen you that relaxed before, free. It was the night I realized how utterly screwed I was.”
Her brown eyes soften, the green in them becoming more pronounced as she looks at me.
“That was the first time you called me, mi vida,” she says gently.
“Because I realized that the only reason I was standing there was because of you. You didn’t just save me, you healed me, Aurora. You were everything to me. My life.”
“You never said any of this to me.”
“You’re right. Maybe I should have. I should have held on to you that day and made you mine. Instead, I ran away like a coward. But I’m done doing that, Aurora,” I say heatedly, moving even closer and taking her hand in mine. “Before I met you, life was only about making it to the next day. I had already given up on doing that and then you barreled into my life and consumed me. You made me want to live again.”
“You made my life worth living too,” she says with tears in her eyes.
“I know there’s a lot of things buried beneath the surface. A lot of anger and pain and betrayal. We both have secrets and we both have things we’re afraid of. But I need you to just put all that aside for one second, sweetheart. I want you to look me in the eye and tell me you feel nothing for me.”
She shuts her eyes briefly before opening them. They’re still glassy, and she’s so fucking beautiful in this moment that it hurts.
“You know I can’t do that.”
“Tell me you hate me,” I prompt. “Do you have any idea how much it killed me for you to look me in the eye and say that you hate me?”
“I didn’t mean it,” she says, sniffing softly. “I wanted to believe it so badly, but I could never hate you, Nico. It was all a lie. I never meant to hurt you like that.”
“I know. So I need you to just let it all fall away for a second. Pretend that the past ten years never happened. Pretend we’re still together in my room like we were that night. Remember how it felt,” I breathe, placing my hand on her chin and tilting her head up. “Remember how it felt to stop fighting what we were feeling? And then tell me what you want me to do.”
The air between us simmers with tension and heat.
She lets out a shaky breath before finally confessing. “I want you to kiss me, Nico.”
“That’s all you’ve ever had to say, sweetheart.”
When my lips meet hers, it’s like a homecoming. She trembles in my hold and tears cascade down her cheeks as I pull her closer. Sparks break out across my skin as our lips touch, liquid heat spreading through my veins.
Kissing her is addictive, thrilling, and has me questioning why I haven’t been doing this all my life.
Because she left you.
I nip at her bottom lip to distract myself from the thought. Aurora gasps, and I swallow the sound. My kiss turns more punishing, and she seems to respond well to my desperation. She moans softly, her hands gripping the front of my shirt.
“Nico, you have to promise me,” she says suddenly, breaking the kiss.
“What?” I ask in confusion, pulling away slightly to look at her.
“If in four months we still can’t figure it out. If in four months my need to leave is still greater than my feelings for you, then you have to promise to let me go.”
I swallow hard, unwilling to make that promise, but knowing I have to if I want to have a chance with her. I hold her even closer, my hands trailing over her face. My heart pounds as I look into those brown eyes that always unmoor me.
Sometimes, you have to let people go so they can come back to you.
