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“I guess, maybe he did,” I admit. “I wasn’t expecting him to meet me off the bus, I planned to avoid him for as long as possible, then ignore him if we ever did pass each other on the street. But as I’m sure you’re aware, it’s hard to ignore one of these guys when they decide they don’t want to be ignored.”
A soft scoff catches my attention, and I turn my head to find a beautiful brunette woman standing behind me, a tiny baby cradled in a sling across her chest while she holds a second baby in her arms.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry, but I couldn’t help overhearing. I agree, there’s no way men like ours would ever allow us to ignore them. I’m Lulu, by the way. I know we got introduced earlier in the week, but no one expects you to remember who anyone is,” she assures me.
“Nice to see you again, Lulu.”
“You too, Etta, and congratulations. Oz is a great guy, I’m sure you’ll both be really happy together,” she says warmly.
“Penn accosted Lulu outside the lawyer’s office she used to work in on her first day,” Betty says with an amused smile.
“He did?” I ask Lulu.
“I was in a rush and tripped, and instead of landing on my face, I stumbled straight into Penn’s chest. He tried to take me home right then and there before he even introduced himself. After I threatened to call the cops, he followed me into work and spent the day in reception so I couldn’t ditch him. The moment he met my eldest daughter, Poppy, he just claimed us as his, and even though I tried, it was impossible to resist his constant, unwavering devotion.”
“Oz was my bully,” I blurt. “He was so mean to me when we were kids. All of my childhood trauma stems from him, and I married him.” I sound crazed to my own ears, and I know I must look it, but neither Betty nor Lulu look even slightly fazed.
“Come on. I’ll rally the ladies. I recognize the post-bulldozer look. Hearing how crazy all of us were when we met our guys will make you feel better,” Lulu promises, reaching for my hand and towing me toward the huge, comfy-looking sectional couch.
Grabbing women that I recognize from dinner as we pass, Lulu hands the baby in her arms off to a woman who I think is Cora, before she lifts the other baby from the sling and then settles onto the couch. Patting the couch beside her, I sink down onto the comfy cushion, wondering what kind of weird intervention this is going to be.
“Ladies, Etta is the victim of a Barnett-style bulldoze courtesy of Oz. She needs to hear all the crazy so she knows she’s not alone,” Lulu announces.
“Jesus, mine is by far the most insane, do you want me to go first or last?” the woman who I think is Cora asks with a giggle.
“You should go last, Cora, it’ll make her feel better,” Bonnie says, placing a tray full of glasses and two pitchers on the coffee table. “Right, I have fun margaritas and virgin margaritas. Who wants what?” she asks.
“Virgin for me,” Betty says, rubbing her pregnant belly.
“Urgh, for me too,” Cora says with a pained sigh.
“Fun for me, I expressed enough milk for these two monsters for the night, so I can have one,” Lulu says, smiling lovingly down at the beautiful baby in her arms.
“Fun for me too, please,” a beautiful blonde woman says.
“Virgin,” another pregnant lady says.
“Fun,” someone else calls.
“Virgin for me,” Bonnie says. “Fun or virgin for you, Etta?” Bonnie asks with a smirk.
“Fun, but just a small one, please, I’m not much of a drinker,” I admit sheepishly.
“Okay, now everyone has a drink, let’s start with the tamest story and work our way up to Cora,” Bonnie suggests. “I guess mine and Beau’s start isn’t too crazy, so I’ll go first. I grew up on the ranch next door. Beau is twenty years older than me, and I basically had a crush on him my entire life.” Her lips pull into a soft smile, and she glances behind us at the group of guys. “I had a job in the coffee shop in town, and one day Beau started coming in. He’d show up as I was opening the store early in the morning, and then again last thing at night when I was closing up. If I was working, he was there, day in and day out, for over a year. One day, a really cute out-of-towner came in and asked me out. Beau saw me flirting with the guy and lost his shit. The next day, he told me I was his, kissed the shit out of me, and then left. Eventually, he admitted that he’d been compelled to come into the coffee shop every day, even though he wasn’t sure why, and it wasn’t until he saw me flirting with the other guy that he realized he’d been basically stalking me for over a year because I was his. The first time he brought me here, he carted me out of my house over his shoulder, then took me into his room while I kicked and screamed, and his brothers looked on like it was funny.”
Oddly, her crazy story does make me feel better, as do the rest of the ladies’ tales. Juni fighting tooth and nail to resist Teddy’s charms. Missy leaving Montana, and Bay chasing after her and begging her to forgive him. Alice meeting Granger when he tried to help her on the side of the road, then convincing her to marry him five days later. None of them were looking for love. None of them ever imagined themselves in relationships with crazy, over-the-top possessive cavemen. None of them anticipated just how easy it would be to fall in love so quickly.
“My turn?” Cora asks with an excited gleam.
Rolling her eyes, Bonnie nods. “Yep.”
“I first met Huck on a girls’ night out with Bonnie. Beau pretended to let her up off his dick for a night, but instead he snuck down into town to the bar we were drinking at and sat in the far corner spying on us with his brothers. We both got drunk, and Huck helped me up to my apartment. The next morning, he turned up on my doorstep and told me I needed someone to look after me because I was clearly not capable of doing it for myself. After he’d won me over with his sparkling personality and big dick, he swapped out my birth control pills with fake ones and got me pregnant.”
Coughing in surprise, I have to slap my hand over my mouth to stop me from spitting out the sip of margarita I’ve just taken. “He what?” I rasp.
“Yep. My crazy pants husband decided I was his and that the best way to keep me was to put a bun in my oven. It worked too.”
Dropping my hand, I try to ask if she’s okay, if she had her baby, if she ever really forgave him, but no words come out, and instead all I manage to do is open and close my mouth like a fish.
