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My brow furrows. “Why would I be jealous?”
“I don’t know ... maybe you’re the kind of guy who assumes I kiss all my clients.”
“I’ve never thought that.” I make a face at her, offended that she would even consider me making that sort of assumption.
She shrugs. “I’m just saying. I mean, it could come across that way after what happened between you and me.”
“No. What we have is special.”
She grows quiet, rolling her lips as we hold each other’s gaze. “I just think ... I don’t know. I have to get back to New York, and you need to focus on hockey.”
“Okay...” I don’t understand how that’s relevant to anything I just said, but I take it for what it is.
She’s blowing me off, and I’m pretty sure it’s because she’s scared of what we have—and the idea that I might not be able to support her from afar. Or that I would try to force her to quit her job like her ex did.
But she’s got it all wrong.
“You know, the distance isn’t really—”
“Do you wanna watch this movie with me?” Nila cuts me off in a way that irritates me.
I know the tactic.
She’s trying to prevent this conversation from going any deeper.
“I think I’ll just sleep,” I tell her, my tone growing edgy.
Disappointment flashes in her eyes, but I ignore it, instead fixating my attention on trying to catch a few hours of sleep before we’re back in Atlanta.
I close my eyes, trying to ignore the frustration and nerves banging around in my chest.
It doesn’t work.
At all.
In fact, I spend the next two hours only warring more and more with myself over Nila. I don’t want us just to be some sort of weird fling. I don’t want what we have to end at all. Heck, I’ll fly to NYC every freaking weekend if I have to for her.
I don’t know when it changed or when things shifted, but I know that I’m not letting her walk away—not without knowing the truth.
My knee bounces anxiously as we land in Atlanta, my palms beginning to sweat as she puts away her phone and headphones. I grab our carry-on bags and then let her exit the plane in front of me.
I don’t want to have this conversation anywhere that might hold up people from getting where they need to go.
But the moment we exit the terminal, I take a deep breath, grab her hand, and pull her off to the side. “Nila, I think we should talk before we say goodbye.”
“My flight is going to be leaving soon,” she tells me, her lips flatlining. “I don’t know how much talking we can do...”
“Don’t blow me off,” I rasp, feeling beyond exasperated. “You keep doing this, but I know you have feelings for me. I know you do.”
“So what if I do, Cameron?” she says, folding her arms across her chest, but even that doesn’t speak louder than the heartache in her green eyes. “I can’t ... I can’t sacrifice my career for something I don’t even know will work—”
“I’d never ask that of you, Nila,” I reason. “I’d never do anything to tie you down or stop you from chasing your dreams. I just want to be there to support you and to try this out for real.”
“Cameron...”
“I think I fell in love with you,” I blurt out, my tone wavering as the words cross my lips.
“Don’t say that...” Nila’s eyes drop from mine. “I can’t. I can’t do this. I don’t want it to all end badly—I don’t want that for either of us. I can’t handle any more loss. Besides, you have enough on your plate, and I don’t know if I can commit to anything.” She turns to leave, and I don’t miss her batting away the tears slipping down her cheeks.
