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“I think that’s a great idea, Evan. I really hated the way we left things, and I’d like to talk about it again.” She smiles broadly, running her fingers against her collarbone, and further across to her shoulder. She’s playing with the thin strap of her black dress and part of me thinks that she’s doing it on purpose. As some sort of signal or an understated way of flirting. “Evan, I meant what I said that night. I do care about you so much. You have no idea just how much. And I want you to be happy.”
Under the table, her leg brushes against mine and lingers there.
I can feel its weight, the fragrant skin that is just begging to be caressed.
“Thank you, Emmy. I agree. And even though we might not be … a couple … we are still the two best friends the world has ever seen, right?”
She leans across the table, beautiful and enticing and looks into my eyes. “Absolutely!”
“I’m so grateful that you want me to be happy. So, one of the things that I wanted to tell you tonight is that … I’ve started dating Carol.”
She freezes for a moment, suspended both in time and space in front of me.
It’s as if her whole being has ceased to function.
She doesn’t blink, she doesn’t breathe, her mouth is slightly open, and even her hair has stopped swaying in the gentle breeze of the balcony.
“Wh—what did you just say?”
“I’ve started dating, well, seeing Carol,” I repeat.
“Oh.”
“Yes. After what happened between us, I took a little time off to think about this whole thing. And you know what I realized?”
“What’s that?” she asks coldly.
“That things between us have gone way too far. You were right. We’re best friends, and there’s no need to risk what we have for what could very well turn out to be a fling.”
“Mhm.”
“At the same time, as painful as it may be for me, I finally realized that you never wanted me or desired me. I know that you love me, of course—we’ve been part of each other’s lives since we were children. And I’m certain that your love for me exists and that it’s strong.”
“Sure.”
“But, that’s not what I want, Emmy. I want love. In the true sense of the word. I want sparks and fireworks. I want passion and yearning!”
“With … Carol,” she says before getting up from the small table on the balcony and retrieving the bottle of wine. She pours herself a full glass of wine and drinks it as if it’s water.
“With … someone that wants me back.”
“Sure. But … Carol?”
“That’s not really the point, Em. I just meant that I finally understand that things between us went too far. We were so close to ruining our friendship and for what?” I laugh.
“For the marriage pact?? What happened to the marriage pact, then?” she asks me.
“Emmy, that was a deal we made when we were in high school.”
“So, you didn’t mean it? Then why did you ask me to honor it at the restaurant, Evan? What would’ve happened if I had said yes?”
“I did mean it. I meant it every time I asked you. I meant it back then, in high school, when we first sealed it, and I meant it at the restaurant. But I finally realized that I cannot do this with someone who doesn’t want me. And you made that very clear.”
Her face flushes, perhaps because of what I’m telling her, perhaps because of the wine she keeps drinking. “And Carol wants it, right? Of course, she does. She told me so. She wants to marry you. Gosh, Evan. Is that what this is all about? Are you having some kind of midlife crisis? Do you just want to get married?”
“Emmy, I’m about to turn thirty. You don’t go through a midlife crisis at thirty. And no, I’m not obsessed with getting married. These are just conclusions that you’re drawing out of nowhere. Or out of that wine glass. Look, the point is that you were right. I’m telling you that you were right! Things between us took a dangerous turn that could’ve jeopardized our friendship. I finally see now that there was no point, especially since you didn’t feel the same way about me.”
She shoots me a dirty look across the small table. In the low light cast by the golden candles, I try to make out what she means, but I’m having a hard time. “What if … what if I changed my mind? Did you ever think about that? No! Of course, not! Here you are, then, with Carol, no less!”
