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Her irritation crests into a tangible wave. "That's not the response I wanted, you idiot," she snaps.
Brushing off her fury, Henry edges closer, a careful approach that contradicts his earlier laid-back attitude. His sincere and steady gaze meets Harper's. "Thank you for filling all our shoes for Poppy," he says, each word measured and heavy with sincerity. You've been there for her when my parents couldn't be when Peter couldn't be, and when I should have been.”
My lips part. That's exactly what Harper has done for me. She's the mom I can talk to, the father I can trust will defend me, the brothers who look out for me, and the best friend I can gossip and make mistakes with.
Harper licks her lips, then sneers,“Fuck your‘thank you.’”
I can see the shock and the pain she is trying to sniff away.
I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Please, stop fighting. I’ve finally got my family back, and I'm not going to allow us to argue. We all messed up. We can waste the present bickering over the past, spoil the future, plotting over how to get revenge, or we can just be thankful we’re all alive, standing here together after everything. Please, for me, learn to forgive each other." I grab both of their hands and hold them tight.
My eyes find Julian. Surrounded by cinder and soot, I'm finally surrounded by people I love, people I'd do anything for. Our material items might have turned to ash, but as long as we are flesh and blood, with breathing hearts and blinking eyes, I'll keep fighting to stay strong for them.
For a long portion of my life, I wished I could be with my parents and Peter; I wished all the emotions, the good and bad, would just stop.
I’m so happy I didn’t get granted that wish or take it upon myself to make it happen.
Tunnels can be very long, the blackest of black. They can be terrifying, lonely, and so perilous that you want to close your eyes, stop walking, and never see the light. But remember this: a tunnel is just that, a line; there is an entrance and an exit.
Keep fighting.
Keep going.
I’m proof that no matter what, you can find the strength and walk to the exit.
I see the light now. I’m so close to stepping into it, and now I’ll get to with Julian, Harper, and Henry by my side.
Chapter 45
Julian
"Is she sleeping?" Henry asks, his voice low, as if afraid to break the silence that Harper's grudging hospitality has left thick in the air.
The fact that Harper let Henry inside her house is a miracle that should be added to the Bible.
Remind me never to piss off Harper.
She only allowed Henry inside because Poppy asked her to, but silently, I could see Harper plotting ways to torture Henry for his past sins.
“No,” I reply in a hushed voice, leaning against the cool wood of the doorframe.“She was pretending to sleep.” It’s a hard admission to make. I had laid in bed with Poppy, holding her until I hoped she fell asleep, wiping away the tears that fell sporadically, kissing her forehead, and promising brighter days ahead. I sensed her pretense; her body tried to lie still, but her erratic breathing gave her away. I think she wanted to be alone.
I’ll give her time, but it can’t be for long. I don’t want her mind wandering down into a hole she can't climb out of.
Henry grabs the back of his neck, his discomfort clear. He hadn’t sat down since he arrived; he just remained standing in the living room like a misplaced piece of furniture that wasn’t sure where it belonged. "Theo said you love her."
Yeah, a lot more than you do. I’d never leave her. Never let her suffer.
I cross my arms, fixing my gaze on him.“I do.”
He shakes his head, the weight of his regrets visible in his downturned eyes.“I just wanted to protect her from myself. From the enemies I've made. From the hate inside of my heart.”
I understand that; blackened hearts tend to pollute red ones.
“Poppy will do anything to be your sister again,” I say, meeting his gaze firmly.“I won’t let her get hurt,” I warn him.
I know men like Henry. They tend to run when things get too emotional, as he did the day they had to bury his brother.
“You went to great lengths to not just ensure she was safe but also to know about her. Now you have the chance to be here in person. Don’t mess it up.” I uncross my arms, stepping closer.“I love her, and I won’t watch you or anyone else put her through emotional turmoil again. You have a chasm to bridge that’s wider than the Grand Canyon. You’ve done things, emotional things. Consider me the judge and jury, Henry. Consider me always watching and listening. You better be the brother she wants and, more importantly, the brother she needs. Someone who will help her realize she isn't at fault.”
