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"You can’t," I interject. This meeting isn’t something you just reschedule.
"I would, but I think we should get away, even if it’s for work. Let’s just reset."
I wish it were that easy.
"Hey, I got a number; it's for a doctor. I really think you should call and talk to her." He tucks my hair behind my ear. "I'm worried for you, Pumpkin. I see the guilt you keep piling on your shoulders, and as much as I try to take it away, you keep piling it on."
My throat feels thick and itchy. "I can’t help it," I whisper, feeling like I could burst into tears.
"I know," He tips my chin up. "And I’m not blaming you or saying how you feel is wrong. You’re the strongest woman I know. Look at you; after everything, every single thing, every blow, every shock, every crime inflicted onto you, you're still standing. You still find a way to keep going. You blow my mind with your strength. It’s okay to cry as long as you don’t forget to laugh."
It feels like the ropes around my heart holding in my emotions have been cut free. I crumble right into Julian's arms and cry, not gentle tears you'd see in a movie; I'm talking snot-inducing tears. So gross and unladylike. Instead of running, Julian holds me tighter, snot and uncontrolled sobs and all.
"It's okay," He repeats as he soothes me. "You cry when you need to. I'm going to be here, and I’ll be here when you laugh too. You’ll laugh again, Pumpkin. Trust me, Harper will find new ways to embarrass you.” He jokes.
Then I do laugh, like an insane person who can just stop crying and laugh on a whim. Manic? Possible. Does it matter? Apparently not because this man loves me.
Chapter 20
Julian
Julian: Any updates?
I text Harper, then glance at Poppy. She's curled up, hugging my blanket tight to her as she sleeps.
Harper: The plane mechanics are MIA, but they all received a wire of two million each from an offshore account belonging to a guy named James Anderson. The media won't know this since it was all found off the record.
So, in other words, Andrew is getting away with it again for now.
Julian: Who's James Anderson?
Harper: Well, cowboy, that’s the first puppet we've been able to find that can be linked to the Sinclair's.
A picture comes through; it's from a gala Oliver Sinclair threw for his campaign. I see Oliver, Andrew's father, with his arm around a man who I'm guessing is James Anderson. He's short and lean, with grey, balding hair—a perfect puppet dressed in a suit.
Julian: Can we get James Anderson in?
Harper: He's in China.
Julian: Fuck.
That means we can't extradite him.
Harper: Dan wants to see if we can get him off the record, but you know how dangerous that is.
It is. If we're caught, the Chinese government will wonder why the CIA is taking James, which could start a war. I think about Theo and how he would handle this. Would my brother worry or just act because he has friends in higher places?
I crack my neck. Should I text Theo? I feel like going to my brother will change my ethics, and once you blur a line, it can't ever be drawn straight again.
Harper: We're tracking the mechanics. We got footage of them boarding a boat, so we're trying to triangulate their GPS.
Even if we find them and they confess to being paid to mess with the plane, it would all lead back to this James Anderson and not the Sinclairs. We need Anderson, not the pawns. We have to nail the bigger figures if we want to cut the head off the snake.
Julian: Keep me updated.
A phone buzzes again, but this time it’s not mine. I look over and see Poppy’s phone gently buzzing with an incoming call.
Who's calling her at this hour?
