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Julian: No, she is handling it…as you’d expect.
Kent: So, a new level of insane woman?
Julian: That’s not funny.
Kent: I know, but I tried. Seriously, how is she holding up?
Julian: She’s got her ups and downs. I want to find her a shrink. I think she should talk to someone.
Kent: That’s not a bad idea.
Julian: I’m shit at talking. I just keep thinking if I make love to her, it will fix everything.
Kent: Bro, who the fuck says‘make love’?
Julian: Why do I bother talking to you?
Kent: Because I give the best advice. Duh! Just put your dick away and talk to her. Women like to talk.
Julian: I’ve tried, but it’s hard.
Kent: Is it literally hard right now? Two hands, bro. Some jerking and lube can fix that. You and Theo taught me that.
Julian: Goodbye.
Kent: NO, wait! I’ll be serious.
Julian: Impossible.
Kent: *Praying hands emoji.*
Julian: When’s the last time you tabled sex to have an actual discussion?
Kent: Tabled sex? Have you seen my dick? It’s the best form of therapy. Wanna dick pic?
Julian: If you send me a dick pic, I’ll fire you.
Julian: You’re such an idiot.
Kent: Genius is often overlooked and misinterpreted.
***
“Remind me never to start my morning off by engaging in a text conversation with Kent. I thought speaking to him in person was bad, but his texts reached a whole new level.” I shout to Theo, who iswaiting outside of the conference room door, and shake my head. "The fact that you and I raised Kent should jail us both."
Theo chuckles. "What'd he do now?"
"Have you ever texted with him? Like, tried to have a serious conversation?"
Theo snorts a laugh. "No. That’s like asking the impossible to happen. Kent can’t be serious."
I roll my eyes. "We should get vasectomies. Make sure we're never able to raise a kid again," I say it as a joke, but it lands sour in my mouth. Kids. I want them... with Poppy. I never thought about it, but now I am. I imagine if we had a son with her freckles and brownish-red hair.
Fuck! I’d need to do better. Raising Kent was my trial run, and I royally fucked up. I can’t actually raise my kids how I did Kent.
"You okay?" Theo asks.
I nod. "Let’s get this meeting over with."
