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Zaph turns toward me. “Say something, Lucy.”
I look up, staring into his dark eyes. “I don’t know what to say. You’re telling me that we’re lovers between lifetimes and that you’ve been with me as a guardian throughout time. What do you expect me to do? Throw myself into your arms, and we make love all night? You’re an angel. An angel who fell from heaven to be with me, Lucy Williams. A screwed-up, doctoral student who barely has enough money to keep the lights on and food in the fridge. I’m nothing special, Zaph.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. You’re more special than you know.”
I step backward, moving away from the guardian angel. “You need to leave.”
Zaph’s eyes close as he bows his head. “I know.”
“Get out.”
He moves toward the stairs without another word. I listen as his boots click down the stairs until he shuts the door to the cottage behind him. The minute the door closes, Bob barks louder than I’ve ever heard.
I make my way down the stairs to find him standing by the back door, scratching at his doggy door. The moment he sees me, he runs to my side, herding me toward the door. “He has to go, Bob. I’m not going after him.”
Bob wraps his mouth around my ankle, refusing to let go. “Ouch! Stop.” He growls as he pulls me closer to the door. “You don’t understand. He’s been stalking me. He stalked me through lifetimes.” That sounds stupid to say out loud.
He lets go of my ankle and jumps at the door. Bob turns toward me, looking me directly in the eyes. Large brown eyes are begging me to let him go after Zaph. “Dammit.” I open the door, and he runs out at full speed. I run after him, leaving my shoes and coat behind.
“Zaph!” I call into the sky. “Zaph,” I repeat.
Wind lifts the hair from my neck, and chill bumps cover my skin. I don’t hear anything but know without asking he’s nearby. “I feel you,” I whisper. “I’m sorry.”
Zaph lands in a thud in front of me. His body towering over me, and his wings spreading at least six feet on either side. God, he’s gorgeous. “You’re right, Lucy. I can’t stay here.” Bob runs from nowhere, jumping on Zaph’s leg when he sees him.
“Bob will miss you if you go.” I smile.
“That’s not what he’s telling me,” he argues.
I glare at my traitorous dog. “You can’t go in the middle of a blizzard. You’ll die.”
“I’m an angel, Lucy. I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t want you to leave,” I confess. “I want you to stay here, with me.”
“Why?”
“Because even though what you’re telling me sounds insane, inside, I know it’s real. The feeling I get when you’re around is familiar and comfortable. My soul knows you.” The words leaving my mouth sound even stranger coming out than the internal dialogue inside. I barely know this…this angel. Why am I begging him to stay?
Zaph steps closer, lifting me into his arms. The moment our bodies make contact, my soul sighs in comfort. “What are you doing?” I ask.
“Taking you inside. In case you forgot, you had a major car accident this afternoon and should be resting.” He carries me close to his chest, and the heat radiating from him warms me.
We enter the house with Bob right on our heels. Zaph carries me upstairs, laying me on the bed. “I don’t want you to leave.”
“I’ll stay while you sleep.”
“No, I want you to stay, with me.” I slide over, giving his large body room to lie down.
“Lucy,” he warns. “I don’t know if I can be that close to you.”
“Try,” I beg. “I’ll stay on my side, and you stay on yours. I’ll keep my hands to myself.”
Zaph slides onto the bed next to me, staying on top of the covers. A warm hand caresses the side of my face, brushing loose hair behind my ear. “Get some rest. I’ll be here when you awaken.”
FIVE
what the hell am i doing?
