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“And supporting you through the pain, fear, and uncertainty.” My heart goes out to her, and I can't imagine the strength of will that she's had to get through everything she's been through. “You're a strong woman,” I whisper, pressing my lips to her forehead, “and I feel for any fool who stands in your way.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Alisha
I'm still agonizing over this decision, terrified that I'm going to make the wrong one.
My time with Charles did help shed some clarity on the whole situation and I know what I need to do - I need to tell Methew the truth. My daughter deserves to know her father and he deserves to know that she exists.
Now I’m standing nervously outside his door, my heart pounding. The secret feels like an unbearable burden, but I know that it's time to reveal the truth. So I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the difficult conversation I’m about to have.
Swallowing hard, I lift my hand and knock on Methew’s door. Doubt and fear continue to swirl through my mind.
A moment later, he opens the front door, a smile tugging the corners of his lips upward, but the expression is more predatory than friendly. Again, I get that nagging feeling that this isn't the right decision, and I'm torn internally. I don't like not listening to my gut, but I also don't know that I can live with myself if I keep this from him.
I've spent countless nights wrestling with the choice I'm about to make, unsure of the consequences that I'll face. And now, with all that uncertainty rising up once more, I take a step back wondering if I should just leave now.
We only spent one night together, and he'll never know if I don't tell him.
“Alisha, it’s so lovely to see you.” His posture relaxes a little bit, and he leans into the doorway before taking a step back and gesturing that I follow him into the house.
I take a hesitant step over the threshold, replaying the memories of our night together. I think about the sweet little girl at home who's the light of my life. I imagine the pain of never knowing her and remind myself to stay strong.
“I'm surprised to see you here,” he says over his shoulder and I find my voice.
“Sorry for just dropping by unannounced and uninvited.”
He turns to face me, walking backward as he spreads his arms wide. “You are never uninvited to my home. You're welcome to stop by anytime you like.” Though the invitation sounds sweet on the surface level, I have a feeling it comes with strings attached. Strings I'm not interested in, especially if they lead back to him.
Internally, I keep reminding myself he has a right to know about his daughter. Besides, it's too late to turn back now. I’ve already come this far, I might as well keep going.
He leads me into a living room, and I barely notice the space. The walls are all painted dark, the furniture is all matching deep burgundy, and the floors underfoot are reflective white. It's certainly a unique space and unlike any I've been in before, but I can appreciate the beauty of it in its own strange way. Maybe I'm the odd one out, but it seems to me like rich people have really odd, extravagant taste.
He walks over to a loveseat and pats the seat beside him, but I choose to take an armchair instead. I don't want to be close enough to touch, and I don't want to give him the wrong idea about why I'm here, even though I have a feeling he already thinks the wrong things. My gut is screaming at me that something feels off, but I harden my resolve. I'm going to do this because it's the right thing to do no matter what.
I take a deep breath, mustering all the courage I possess. “Methew,” I say softly, well aware of the tremble of fear and nerves in my voice, “I have something important to tell you.”
He leans forward slightly, his eyes sparkling. “What is it? You can tell me anything.”
Yeah, I seriously doubt that, but this is something I have to tell him. I'm not going to mistake doing the right thing for trusting him, because I don't.
My words hang heavily in the air, and for a fleeting moment I feel like the air is trapped in my lungs as if I can't breathe, much less speak. I think about how light I will feel after telling the secret. I think about how my daughter's face will light up with the opportunity to meet her real father, even if she hasn't asked who he is yet. I think about how this can change everything from cutting down my time with my daughter because he wants to be part of her life to how much I’ll have to deal with him even though I’d rather not.
But the most important thing in all of this is Evie.
Maybe I can't predict how he'll react, and maybe he'll react poorly, but at least I'll have an answer and that'll give me an opportunity moving forward to figure out what I want to do next.
“Alisha?” he asks, ducking his head as if to get my attention. I meet his stare, snapping out of my thoughts.
I shake my head to clear my mind. “Sorry, I’m a little stressed.”
His expression softens, but I still don't feel at ease. “You have nothing to stress about. I'm glad you're here, finally, right where you belong.”
How this guy can throw so many red flags is a mystery, but it's starting to feel like a parade around here. I almost want to look around the room and ask him where his wife is, but I have a feeling that would just be a waste of breath. I'm sure he'll just correct me anyway and remind me that she's his soon to be ex-wife, as if that makes things any better. It doesn’t... not for me, at least.
Uncertainty fills the space between us, and I know that if I don't tell him right now, I'll never tell him. “We have a daughter, Methew. You have a daughter you never knew about.”
The second the words leave my lips a myriad of expressions cross his features. As the weight of the silence becomes almost suffocating, I watch the surprise, confusion, disbelief, fear, and finally anger flicker across his face.
