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I take a breath to try to steady myself. “Yeah… me, too, I think.”
It’s time to let go of the years I spent with Jess. It’s time for me to move on.
I have a whole life ahead of me.
This time with Hazel is proving that to me.
She raises her eyes. “Your sister-in-law mentioned the rough patch you’re going through with someone named Jess. She’s the ex you talked about in the hot tub, right…? The one who’s getting married soon?”
“Yep.” It comes out throaty, a growl. That’s only because somehow, even though I tried not to, I moved closer to her.
And she stepped in closer to me.
Our bodies are inches away from touching. She’s looking up at me with those wide eyes.
“You want to talk about it?” she asks.
“I don’t think there’s much to talk about.”
“I bet there is. You lived with her, right? It must have hurt when it ended. These things leave wounds.”
“Yeah, but maybe they teach us, too. Maybe I had to learn about what wasn’t good for me to recognize when something really good came my way.”
“Something good?”
“Someone good.”
I can tell by her hesitation that my words are scaring her. She bites her lip, then looks down at a dishrag and runs her fingers along one frayed edge.
I don’t want to scare her.
I don’t want to come on too strong because I know this is complicated.
But at the same time, it’s hard to hold back.
With each passing day—each hour, each minute—it gets clearer to me that I am falling in love with the woman right in front of me.
There’s not much I can do about it if that scares her. I can try to soften my words, not put it all out there, but I have to let at least some of it out.
“Jack, you know how last night, you said that thing about how you’re not in a good state of mind, for… for whatever… whatever might be happening with us?”
“I didn’t do that well, explaining it.”
“No, you did fine. I got it. I get it. Because I’m not exactly in a good place, either… I know I made it sound like nothing when I blurted out that thing about how I dated a dentist. But it wasn’t nothing. That chapter of my life really messed with me. I’ve been keeping to myself since then.”
“Totally okay,” I say as if I know what I’m talking about.
Confidence is my default. I come out swinging and take a stab at things even when it’s out of my area of expertise.
However, I’m no therapist, so after that short statement, I’m at a loss.
I don’t know what else to say.
I don’t think it’s okay for her to isolate herself because she’s afraid. Especially because now that I know I’m falling for her, I can only hope she’ll let her guard down a little and give me a chance, too.
I don’t know how to put all that into words. So, instead of saying more, I reach out for her hand. I do it without even thinking.
I run my fingertips over the back of her hand, then up her arm. She sinks in closer to me. When I reach my arms around her and hug her tight, I feel her muscles relax. Her breath warms my chest.
